The Most Important Stuff Ever

Is It Time For Me To Start Doing This Again?

2007-04-29T16:36:00.000-05:00

I'm not convinced that I remember how.
I've been placed on notice by a fellow blogger, which I am taking as a challenge.
If I start this again, don't you think I should come up with some sort of commitment statement so as not to discourage loyal subjects? We here at TMISE are only here to serve.
I'll think about it. I've not got much to say though, so I'm not making any promises. Please comment so I know what to do because I don't make decisions without hearing from random internet friends.

My Failure in Futility

2006-03-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

I suppose that is a contradiction in terms. Something that is futile is presupposed to be a failure, therefore, my exercise was quite successful. It's either that or I'm such a loser, I fail at failing. Either way, my experiment in documenting my daily life on a... daily... basis didn't prove successful. My thought was, that by forcing myself to write about the apparently mundane (what happens to me every day) I would either 1. be forced to write something completely lame thus allowing me to see what it is about my writing that makes it (sometimes) interesting OR 2. I would be forced to make the mundane parts more purty with good writin'. The essence of writing, after all, according to me, is telling a story about life (which is typically pretty lame and boring anyway) in a way that is interesting. Good thought, if only I had been more dilligent, right? Such is life.

It's not that you missed much either.

The FDA-approved label change came out on Friday and caused me and J to miss our free lunch at Rasika, which I was really looking forward to because good Indian food is... good.
Somebody from work punched somebody at the The Cult concert on Friday and we apparently got kicked out. That's ok, it made the next morning more interesting to talk about what happened the night before.
I was ridiculously drunk.
I did my taxes and I owe fucking Ohio 236 damn dollars. The good news is the government owes me 625. Bitches.
I'm still doing terribly at the book club book. I've resigned myself to skipping to "the good part" in order to catch up with everyone. Argh.
Got a wedding to go to in a few weeks. Weddings are lame and this one is on a freaking SUNDAY (who does that). Good news is, I haven't seen my friend, the bride, in a really long time and it will be good to see her and all my other friends who are going. I just gotta get my G-D act together and buy a gift and a dress and determine if it is worthwhile to ride back with my friend on Monday or buy a ticket home for Sunday night.
I still want a puppy, but I realized that if I want to take that online class this summer I'll have to save the money. I knew I could come up with a good reason not to get a dog just yet.
I've seen "The Syrian Bride," "Tsotsi" and "Thank You for Smoking" in the past two weeks and I would say that over all, not going to see the big movies, is way, WAY better than I had ever hoped it would be. I'm becoming addicted to seeing really good movies. Good habit.

Your Name is Gaylord?!?!

2006-03-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

22 March 2006 10:01pm

Another slow day at work. I picked the wrong week to blog every day I guess. SWK got a little perturbed with me because she wasn't registered for a meeting she had yesterday. I don't remember registerin her either, which could mean one of two things: I'm an idiot and didn't register her or b. I passed this job on and someone else is an idiot. I'm inclined to believe the latter for obvious reasons. I apologized and told her it wouldn't happen again. Litigation. Weird mediation among the executive staff and their teams, can't wait to hear more.

Met E for lunch today. Actually he joined J and I as we already had plans for it. Running late because of other people but was ok anyway. J does a good job of (pretending?) to be completely impartial and unknowing of anything about the situation and is always a good third wheel to keep around, bless her little heart. Met up again after work since she was already late for the train and had a few beers across the street. Spinach and artichoke dip. Pleasant over all.

Heard back from the miniature pinscher breeder in Silver Spring finally- after like a week. Puppies due in two weeks but wouldn't be ready until early June. She said they bark a lot. I know I can train this away, but she seemed very focused on the issue and I felt she was trying to discourage me.

Oh yeah, and it was someone's last day today at work and he sent a ridiculously long and superfluous (two can play at this game) email. It was a "Meet the Parents" situation in which you just felt awful about the entire situation because it's so embarassing for the person. Terrible. WTF indeed.

Call Me Ishmael

2006-03-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

21 March 2006 6:46pm

Very many people out of the office today either in a retreat to repair executive spats or traveling in California, so work was spent mostly deleting emails (after they were read, settle down killer) and reading blogs and the washingtonpost.com (same thing, right?) We ordered in lunch for all of the assistants, but the few big guys that were there mooched also. I never felt guilty once for all my laziness today, not even once. J was looking at flights to Paris and debating whether or not it was worth saving 200 bucks by taking a connecting flight- something I'm certain I will never worry about as the opportunity to travel to Paris seems highly unlikely. We'll see. Been thinking of NA lately - weird - hasn't been around for a while. Slept through the night uninterrupted last night.

Made up dinner yesterday based on what I thought was probably a good recipe for alfredo sauce. I've never made that, but made a good effort for my shrimp/fresh basil/dry oregano on vermicelli last night. E said it was great, but there is no telling what that really means since he was probably starving and would have eaten poop if I had dressed it up nice enough. R said I should not give up on Cloud Atlas so I'm going to give it a chance and hope that the story really does get better. Here's hoping.

Plans? to see Capote on Friday after work with perhaps a little pre-show dinner.
I still want a puppy.

Dear Diary, I Think Kevin Likes Me...

2006-03-19T20:24:00.000-05:00

19 March 2006 8:23pm

Another pretty but cold day in the Great State of Maryland. I fell asleep last night of my own accord after a small and pointless argument with E (so thankful he finally picked up that phone). Woke up again in the middle of the night feeling anxious from a dream I don't remember. Planning to go another night with natural sleep, just to give it time. No sense in eating all of that Melatonin at once.

Ignored the book I should be reading all day long in place of what, I don't remember. Today I ate frozen pizza (gross), ramen noodles (sick) and several glasses of water. Also approximately one handful of banana chips. (Truly fascinating reading here.) Which brings me to my favorite thing that happened today and that was that I also ate popcorn and gummi bears at the movies. Went to see Thank You for Smoking, which was truly funny given my line of work (cigarette girl at a high class "dance club" near capitol hill). One of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. Yay!

Still thinking of buying a puppy, but after a serious review of finances, my desire has changed to quiet anticipation. Maybe one day...

Can These Be Like Jane Austen's Letters?

2006-03-18T21:15:00.000-05:00

18 March 2006 9:12pm

Slept in less than two hours today, but woke up not remembering any dreams, as with last night. Still no idea if Melatonin helps to forget those or not. Tonight I'm planning to try au natural. Had no grand plans for the day but noticed how sunny it was out when I got up. Checked the weather only to find that it was still too cold to enjoy being out so I took a shower with plans of reading all day. Watched the rest of season one of Weeds on demand and finished Slaughter House Five. It was good, and I got some good stuff out of it. (Obviously nothing is reflecting so far.) I read a few pages of Cloud Atlas last night and found the prose to be... lumpy. Not smooth, I fear for the 600 some odd pages that make up the rest of the book. I made curry chicken for the first time- I had to be creative with lack of coconut milk in the house. I've had better. I called E a couple of times, but he's ignoring me. Standard. Now watching horrible movies on tv and trying to come up with things to do until I'm ready for sleep again.

Roughly, This

2006-03-17T19:35:00.000-05:00

I've heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music do you
It goes like this fourth, the fifth, the minor 'fore the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah..

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne
She cut your hair
And from your lips she drew them hallelujah

Hallelujah...

Well maybe I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it is a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah...

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
Remember when I moved in you
And the holy ghost was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah...

Well maybe there is a god above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
And it's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it is a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah...

*Don't do this often, but this song, every version I've heard, including my own, hits me in just the right spot.

So It Goes

2006-03-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm getting very tired these days; of death, of the impending conclusion of things, of being one of many on a mass email list, of complicated long distance friendships, of wedding invitations and travel to those weddings, of being misused, by feeling helpless to escape from abuse, of the government and everything about it that makes lives unfair. Most of all, I am tired of feeling so tired of everything.

What is the reprieve?

Say Goodnight, Gracie

2006-03-13T18:35:00.000-05:00

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
-Kurt Vonnegut

Since You Been Gone

2006-02-28T23:03:00.000-05:00

Screw you February, you stupid short, cold month. You were gone before you were even here anyway and now, when I leave work, it's starting to be so that it's still a little bit light out.

What a rough day it's been. The woman who I once replaced until she came back from maternity leave has returned from... maternity... leave. Everyone has been under great trepidation awaiting her return and "what will Megan do when she gets back." It's like everyone thinks it's just a matter of time before I flip out at her failure at life and they're just standing by trying to get a good seat for the action. The truth is, I don't care what this woman does. There's a good chance she'll wait for her bonus in March and then give her two weeks and be off. If that's what she wants, fine, I'll be the new senior assistant. If she stays, fine, I get to work with someone who probably knows more about what they are doing than any other dumb temp we bring in. What irritates me about the situation is not knowing either way. I've worked my ass off carrying the bulk of the adinistrative weight for the past several months while she's been gone, and now that she's back, I'd like to turn over half of it. As soon as possible. I'm tired.

So we went out for a beer (4) tonight after work, bitched about Scoops for a while. I'm going to take care of P's tiny ridiculous dog while she goes to CA for orientation. We met A for lunch today and she's dating someone that sounds very awesome for her. Big meeting in the morning, should go to bed and stop thinking. Thanks, FEB for V-day and President's day; not much else to say about you, is there, except that you were in my life.

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!

2006-02-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

Is this real? It's for tv, right? It's definitely tv.

Attention Long Lost Friends:

2006-02-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

I don't know what you're doing here, or how you got here, or who's profile you clicked on to get to mine, and most importantly, I don't know what you're doing readint this far, but apparently you are, so- you know... welcome. Or whatever.

To update you, first and most importantly, I'm taller since you saw me last. My hands are still small and my toes are still long (and if you didn't already know that, then I guess I just spilled the beans). I have grown richer and fuller in my sarcasm and dry sense of humor; it will drive you nuts if we meet unexpectedly on the street. I still appear to have some talent but it remains unharnessed as the first day you met me in 9th grade. I am in my quarter life crisis and don't care. I still eat cereal for breakfast, prefer Bud Light over fruity drinks, and sing along to my CDs. I still have my guitar, and if it's possible, I play it less and more poorly than I did when I started. I like reading and music and Washington D.C. I lived with my brother (that is, I paid his rent for him) for about a minute and now I live with a stranger that I met on craigslist. I watch House and Grey's Anatomy but not American Idol. I'm single (not really) and looking (but not really) so if you thought I was hot then, you should see me now. I like Ani (DiFranco) and Damien (Rice) and some others you don't know and I indulge in Shakira and Kelly Clarkson now and again. I work for The Man and it steals my soul some days, but I'm ok with it because I take advantage of it right back whenever I can. I'm still terrible at returning calls and emails, so please, take no offense if I've blown you off recently, and keep talking to me, because I do appreciate it. I'm less dorky, but do more grown up things like pay taxes and work late. I like funny people and love smart ones. My favorite food has regressed to pizza even though I live in a city with amazing restaurants. I didn't vote for Bush.

There you have it, I'm glad you came and I hope you get up the nerve to comment because yes, I will go out with you, just try me.

How You Made Me Love You: Part I

2006-02-13T18:55:00.000-05:00

My first real boyfriend was in 11th grade. Disregarding elementary school romances with boys who pulled my hair or teased me at the bus stop, my very late start was, when all was said and done, pretty good. He was tall and blonde and he played the guitar (which would later become one of my biggest weaknesses when it came to members of the opposite sex) and, very importantly, at the time at least, he went to my church. The first time I saw him, he was playing bass as an 8th grader (I was in 10th grade at the time) for a hight school choir concert. I thought he was cute, and when he was at the after party, I watched him talk to his friend as we listened to Glycerine by Bush on the CD player. It is, perhaps, one of my most vivid memories of him, ever.

I saw him very rarely for the rest of that year, and was unconcerned by it. He was simply a cute boy that would, as others always had, come and go in my life. The next year, when he moved up to the high school with me, I had all but forgotten him until band camp started. He played the trombone and I was a dancer. His friends were like him and he was sarcastic and had a unique sense of humor. I was pleased to find out that when he spoke to me, he was smart and goofy.

I invited him to hang out at my house, which, as houses go, was one of the busiest for parties on the weekend. We were a relatively calm group, most of us good strong Christians and active (as you could be at the time) with the Youth Group and after-school activities. My parents enjoyed having all my friends over. He fit in with our group quite well. I eventually developed so strong a crush, that my two best girlfriends at the time found out and somehow managed to embarass me in front of him about it (harmlessly). One laid back evening he and my friend wrote notes back and forth to each other, speaking in metaphors (they were both excellent writers, as most of us were at the time) about how strong his ankles were to play soccer, which translated to a conversation about his fears to try to be more than my friend.

We eventually decided to go out (thanks in part to he and my friend's little note-writing party) which involved a lot of staying in; renting movies with friends and going to youth group together. Our mothers talked in church and we became friends with each other's friends. We went to homecoming and prom and he made me a Valentine's Day card that involved torn pieces of a plastic bib. I loved it. Our first kiss was outside in my driveway on a very quiet, snowy night. We stayed together 9 months.

I don't remember exactly why we broke up. It was probably something along the lines of both being relatively immature and not exactly ready for a serious relationship. I was very sad about the end of it; I likely cried every day after school for several days. Fortunately, my memories of him are not of the breakup but of some of the funny, and nice times we had together. I moved on and dated other boys (one of which was a good friend of his, surprisingly causing no drama), and he dated at least two more girls that I know of, the second of which, he is married to.

Ours, although not The One, was a successful relationship, and I'm happy to include him on my list. For our age, and for that time in our life, it was a very good thing. We had someone to call every night afte school, and sometimes kiss, and to call our boyfriend/girlfriend when having one of those was key to your status in high school. We were a lot alike, and in a time in most people's lives where you feel very lonely, it was good to know someone like him and have him so close to me. I have no idea what he thinks of me these days, or if he remembers as much as I do, in fact, I'm closer with his wife than I am with him (she was a good friend from high school as well). It was a simple relationship, for simple times. It was good.

Next time: How You Made Me Love You: Part II

Strangers In the Night (And By Night We Mean 3:28pm EST)

2006-02-09T19:43:00.000-05:00

Dear 805-559-4521,

Could you please leave a message next time? At the very least, can you wait until I answer and then hang up the phone? What are you doing there in Newbury Park, CA (71st best place to live in '05) that requires my attention and how did you get this number? If I call you back, is it going to be something scary, dirty, or otherwise fraudulent? How come you only called once? If I was the wrong number, what is your connection to a southern central Ohio phone number?

Heck, it doesn't even matter. This is the most action my phone as seen in weeks. Wanna go out?

Call me again soon, you have my number.
Love,

Megan

Grasping at Straws, Here

2006-02-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

I talked to three different British dudes today, all on account of my vice president. One's name was Stuart and he gave me his cell phone number, which was from California.

Which reminds me.

I don't like pink, and I don't like saying that I'm having a good day when I'm really not, and I don't like having to act like kids are adorable and I especially don't like acting like I have grand plans for the evening when really I'm just going home to write in my blog and watch as many hours of TV as I can before passing out.

Just so that's out there.

For valentine's day I would like my own pet human-animal hybrid. Anyone? Anyone?

What is with the lack of Dunkin' Donuts in this city? Or any city in the metropolitan area. Or Krispy Kremes. Doesn't anyone here eat donuts? I have a cupon.

I'm reading a book by Charles Bukowski now. I stopped bringing it on the train because there were too many masturbation scenes. I was afraid that someone would look over my shoulder (we all do it) and think something of me so that the next time we meet (never) I could end up really embarassed.

One last thing, before we go, how unexcited are you about this?

Yes, I Ignored the SOTU On Purpose

2006-02-06T19:53:00.000-05:00

... other people had better things to say.

You've not missed much any way. I mean, didn't you enjoy looking at that Kip thing in the last post every time you came here anyway?

In the meantime, I conqered Rome and developed a cure for the common cold. That was after I conducted experiments in nuclear (pronounced noock-yuh-ler) fission.

The world is full of exaggerations.

Oh, and one more thing: I've recently received intel that I have at least one new denzien following this B.S. and for those of you who are just joining, here are some of the greatest hits:

Good Day Gov'nuh
A Little too Hard, Maybe?
Retro Picture!
He's Gonna Show you How
Boring, but you Asked For It
I'd Like to File a Complaint

OK, go!

These Words are My Own

2006-01-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

You are Kip Dynamite and you love technology.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

and, very importantly: (note the grammar)

u are a classic lookin person!very old fashion.you

are a the kind of girl who likes to were a

big puffy fun dress!

what will ur prom dress look like.
brought to you by Quizilla

The Kid, The Storm, and The Dark

2006-01-27T19:56:00.000-05:00

So I emailed my Grandma some lame life update and she replied the other day, you know, jus to say hi and that Auntie was in Boston the same time I was in California and was pissed about my better fortune in business travel. She also dropped the bomb that this girl who I knew from high school but didn't like very much's youngest brother killed himself and Grandma served the meal after the funeral.

It's always a real pisser to hear that someone died, especially in such a way, but for some reason the thought of this really threw me off yesterday. Perhaps it was her vivd description of the details (he bought a shotgun and took it to the park behind the city pool, put it under his chin and shot himself). I can guess pretty much exactly where in the park that would have been, because there is a particular place at that park you can go to not be seen from the road or the houses near by. Kids used to (ok, I'm sure they still do, but whatever) go back there to have sex when I was in high school. I'm guessing the experience won't be as "magical" any more. She also told me that he had been on Zoloft (or Prozac, or whatever) for a couple of weeks and wondered if maybe that was why he did it. (Sidebar: To my knowledge, antidepressants can cause suicidal ideations in teenages, but as far as I have read, it hasn't been in anyone over 18. 19 is close enough though.)

Perhaps it is the fact that my memory of him is as a 10 year old little brother of one of my brother's good friends in middle school. My memory of him is as a Kid looking uncomfortable in a tie at church or playing little league for the city, or running in and out of the room to agitate my brother and his friend at church functions. I can't imagine that normal Kid doing something like buying and using a shotgun on himself.

I have been there. (Not quite in line at the sporting counter at Wal-Mart waiting for my weapon, but glancing over at the other peole in that line as I walk past towards feminine hygeine products.) My next thought for him was, who missed this? Who was it that wondered if this might happen? Who did he speak with last, and did they beg him to cheer up or come over just to hang out? What could they have done to change what is now history? Truly, there is no one that will know or understand besides the Kid, and there very well may have been no one that could change what happened, and while I never really knew him, I wish him a better future than the one he found on this earth.

Seat Bottom Cushion Can Be Used as a Floatation Device

2006-01-25T17:55:00.000-05:00

I went to Cal-ee-for-nee-yuh for some sweet corporate orientation this week. It was a whirlwind, I tell you, but I took some pictures... check me out.

Not a lot to tell that isn't in the pictures (it was THAT exciting) except that I will never take another redeye flight.

"It Wasn't Very Civil of You To Sit Down Without Being Invited" said the March Hare.

2006-01-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

OK, that last thing was uncalled for, I know, but I wanted to see if a movie would actually post on my 'blog. Dang.

I love technology, but not as much as you you see...

Ok, the real reason I'm here is to tell you about a cultural anomally I experienced this Saturday. I went to a tea party.I wasn't aware that people still had these things, but apparently they still exist. It's funny, I haven't been to a tea party since... I don't have teddy bears any more. My friend J's mother and sister are apparently really "in to" tea. Her sister got her mom one of those three tiered contraptions to hold your scones and crumpets for Christmas and J brought back some tea leaves (and a picture of Mr. Darcy) when she was in London. I guess you can be "in to" tea in ways other than Starbucks employees are "in to" tea, and it happened on Saturday.

OK, so it wasn't high tea, because we didn't eat a lot of food (high tea is apparently like having a meal with tea) and it was apparently too early for tea (that's supposed to be at around 4:00 and this was at 1) but everything else was completely accurate. Except for the digital cameras. Anyway, we wore skirts and some people had broaches (seriously) and there were tiny sandwiches and british cheese that went on bread that tasted like cardboard with soil on it. I drank about five cups of tea (because I do like tea, but not necessarily to the point that I'm "in to" it) since tea cups are significantly smaller than a tall chai tea latte at, you know, that shop.

So anyway, I was at a tea party.

Eh heh heh heh...

2006-01-13T21:42:00.000-05:00

Jesus Often Kissed Her On The - -

2006-01-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

Or so Philip would have you believe in his gospel.

There are, of course, lots of things in the world that aren't fair. The Church has characterized Mary Magdalene as a prostitute (when she was really a disciple) for so long, that no one will ever understand her truth- and all because of some sort of mysogynism. I have an incurable (and, at best, mildly treatable) chronic illness. My friend, born into poverty, fights to remain in a country that doesn't want him. My other friend, placed on this earth to love children, lost her baby today. None of these things can be compared to the other, but it is the times when life is so obviously unfair that make me question the purpose of a world and a life where the wrong things make too much of a name for themselves.

There is nothing I could say or feel that would begin to explain this, describe it, or rectify it. I have no words of wisdom, nor do I have any special insights. Sometimes I curse life. What is there to learn from this?

Apples and Oranges

2006-01-01T22:31:00.000-05:00

He closes his eyes, arms flailing and head bobbing to the sound of the music and his fingers pose in the shape of the chords he believes the song follows. As the chorus swells, his feet tap more strongly and his motions become more animated. He is consumed. Nothing in the room exists, tunnel vision has focused on the magic that is the music and the sound of his heart is deafening.

One day, I will be that music to someone.

Is It Some Sort of Holiday Or Something?

2006-01-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

...cause we don't have to go into work tomorrow.

So last night was interesting. Normally I don't do much for new years eve and for the past few years I have spent it with a bag of Doritos and a bottle of yellow tail merlot. Mmm mmm mmm! Fortunately, this year, I am visiting my friend A-Hizzle-Hizzle in Denver. Denver is a very awesome place and one day, when I feel like driving myself around, I will live there. That's a promise most likely. Anyway, I have gotten to meet all the interesting people she has always talked about in her family, and her best friend since high school and some other interesting characters.

Last night was one of those encounters you have with a friend of a friend and all of their other weird friends, in which you feel completely out of place and yet more like the normal one than anyone else in the room. Does that make any sense, coming from me? Anyway, it was very interesting- we went to a house party in some area of- maybe- Denver, you know, one of those neighborhoods I keep hearing about. We took a cab, which was expensive, but I'm currently rich, so it didn't matter, and when we arrived almost no one was there and we weren't drunk. We made some changes to that quickly, and after taking a tour of their very un-furnished home we began to climb around on furnture. I was introduced to some local beer which wasn't skunked, despite how it tasted, and for the rest of the night I stuck with Budweiser, you know, just to be safe. There was dancing, and I assume there were people (ok, it was me and Hizzle) dancing on coffee tables. The people there were very interesting, and the highlight of the night was definitely one weird poindexter of a dude who was wearing a 1980s era day glow one piece wind suit. Henceforth, he would be known as Onesy and I am sure I embarassed him and myself by continuing to use the terminology to an obnoxious end.

Despite Hizzle's weird orbit of friends, it was really fun, and today, I have never felt more tired and unable to fall back asleep. Her mom made us some breakfast and we have been fighting the need to puke/pass out/eat everything in sight by watching the second season of Alias on DVD. Most important lesson of the year: Altitude does affect your ability to consume alcohol as usual, despite protective onesies.

p.s. None of this really happened last night. Looking back, I noticed that I never wrote about this when it actually happened, which was in 2005. Next year, I will illustrate all the details of 2006, providing I can still remember them.

Country Mouse Comes Home

2005-12-29T23:40:00.000-05:00

I've just returned (complete with winter cold/flu symptoms, thankyouverymuch) from my annual holiday visit home (or at least to the same general area as what I once referred to as "home" prior to leaving for college) and I have never been more happy to see Silver Spring, Maryland as I was tonight.

I really missed my mom. And I really missed my dad. And I really missed my grandma. And I really missed my aunt. And the dogs; missed them too. (And my friend P., I missed him the most, but that's another post). I split all these things up rather than list them together, because that is precisely how I miss them- as individual entities. I do not miss the large family Christmas Eve dinner and midnight service, the trashed living room on Christmas morning, the gray gray gray and the wet wet wet of the whole state, etc. What I do miss is sitting around yakking with my dad about Wal-Mart and the Bengals, explaining various pop culture phenomena to my grandmother, laughing and being cynical with my aunt, and just generally getting some mom time with my mother. I missed each of these things individually, without family drama, local gossip, or snide remarks under our breaths to taint the season, which has been my experience for the past few years.

My one on one time with these people is what I miss the most, not being in Ohio. I don't know that I would consider myself a proper "City Girl" just yet, but I have certainly grown out of Ohio, the land of oppression. I much prefer the convenience of being able to get whatever I need (groceries, ride to work, haircut, etc.) whenever I need it. In Dayton, you have to wait for things to be open (because there was maybe, A Gas Station open on the day after christmas in the whole state), travel there via gas guzzler, find a parking spot and then turn around and do the whole routine over again to get back home. I like that tomorrow I am going to mail a package, buy a vacuum cleaner and go grocery shopping all on my own time, without waiting for a ride or for someone to help me. I am significantly more independent in the city, and I like that I live here because of that.

I flew in to Dulles (ugh) this evening and looked out over the sparkly, busy city and thought, for the first time in a while, "It's good to be home." I pass the Washington Monument on the way to work and feel so lucky to think "You live and work here." I never hated Ohio while I was there, and it isn't fair to say that I hate it there now, but I have surely found something that has inspired me far more than anything (outside of my family) has in quite some time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (or "more fond" as they say in english)

I May Be Smarter Than I Think I Am

2005-12-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

myfriendonIM: i just think that sometimes people dnt make much of an effort and it frustrates me. this week has sucked. i talked to her one day and she was shopping...no big deal...
tried to call her the next day...no answer...left message...never heard anything
talked to her the next day...trying to figure out christmas... said she would talk to her mom when she woke up and call me back...never heard anything. called today...wanted to take her to dinner and give presents...she is doing a family thing...that's not a big deal...she is doing family things until sunday...then monday she is doing the friend gift exchange...again not a big deal at all. she went to the movies one day with her bro and his friends...which isn't that big a deal b/c he is home from NY and doesn't get much time here...so i dnt care that she wants to spend some time with him. they went dancing the other night too... i just feel like if she wanted to hang out with me she could make more of an effort. is it b/c of christmas and im being petty or do i haev a legit complaint?
one more thing... talking to her tonight i felt like i was bothering her...i said "r u ok? i feel like im bothering you"...she was like no im just watchin tv

plastic castle32: well you have choices, as I see it. you can continue to put forth all of the effort, or you can balance it out. and balancing it out gives you two additional choices. you can call her as much as she calls you (rarely) and see what happens, or you can call her out and tell her that you're doing all the work and you need her to do a little bit too. I guess there's a 3rd option too, and that's just giving it all up completely.

myfriendonIM: i dnt wanna give up

plastic castle32: trust me, I have been, and continue to be in this position

myfriendonIM: megan...i know you have heard me say it b4 but she is incredible...sure there are things that annoy me...but what else is new...nobody's perfect...she appreciates and supports things no one has EVER done that i have dated and that means more to me than she knows
its definitely worth it...i just want to know what's going on in her head
i called her out on the way to Pitt last time... i said hey can i ask u something... What do you think of me? the question made her uncomfortable...she has a few issues being totally open about that i think...me i dnt care ill tell ya wht you want to know...but i understand her position too

plastic castle32: well is it a situation with a butterfly (if you let it go and it comes back yadda yadda) or is it a knock her over the head and tell her whats up?

myfriendonIM: i dnt know about butterflies and stuff...
sometimes i feel like since i am not at school with her if i did that since there are so many other guys around there id be long forgotten...i dnt know what i am basing that on other than my frustration right now
advice? what do youtthink i should do?

plastic castle32: I have no good advice- what I've learned from this situation is that guys are dicks and never want to commit to anything, even the word "girlfriend" and that it's probably a cross between being young and personality that is causing the issue. this guy I know is a self-proclaimed free spirit; in other words, he wants to act like a dick and explain it by the fact that "that's just the way I am." meanwhile, I want something just a little bit more. I'm not trying to marry him, but I am at the point in my life where I want a partner who will at the very least, admit that they are in love with me, and want to tell their friends about my existence. It isn't fair to me to expect any less.

myfriendonIM: agreed

plastic castle32: and even though I love him more than anyone else in the world, and I think he loves me, maybe not more than anyone else, but in an important way, he just can't do it. this guy I know is not in a position to give himself to someone else... emotionally or practically. it's not his fault, he's just not there, even though there is not that far ahead of him. so for me, no more expectations. I will always love him, but I'm letting him go, and if in the future, he gets a visa, and he stops being a freak- I think I will be there. but in the meantime, to save my heart and my head, I have to drop it. if I look at it as not completely FINAL and forever, it's not as hard.
plastic castle32: I'm not saying that's what you should be doing
plastic castle32: but it's what I've learned

I'm Flipping You Off Inside My Mitten... As Hard As I Can

2005-12-20T19:44:00.000-05:00

Here's to a week of terrible Metro riders and Metro-related experiences:

Friday (sometime after work) lights in Metro Center completely out. Neat.
Saturday (6:00pm) Dumb ass bitches get on escalator. Stand to left.
Saturday (6:25pm) Lead dumb ass bitch, approximate age 15, snatches cell phone out of my hand. Doesn't run away.
Saturday (6:33pm) Lead dumb ass bitch chucks cell phone onto Orange line tracks. Doesn't run away.
Saturday (6:34pm) Lead dumb ass bitch resists arrest. 2 knives found on person. What a dumb ass bitch.
Sunday (first thing in the morning) I am never riding that damn train again! ...until work.
Monday (8:35am) Douchebags board escalator. Stand to left.
Monday (9:01am) More douchebags crowd all exits to trains. Riders forced to push each other.
Tuesday (8:20am) More douchebags board escalator. Stand to left.
Tuesday (8:35am) Buttmunches proceed to load already sardined train car. Defy physics.
Tuesday (8:41am) Red line train towards Shady Grove ends commute-long habit of lurching violently at each stop.
Tuesday (8:41am) Dumb fucks completely block doors causing passengers exiting at Metro Center to take FOREVER to get off at the stop.
Tuesday (8:41am) "Doors closing" prior to complete unload of red line train. Some forced to say "Are you kidding me?!?!" loudly to closing doors.

Cheers to you, Washington D.C. You have a lot to be proud of...

Not Writin' Purty No More

2005-12-13T20:09:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything meaningful to say. I don't even feel like commenting on society. Forgive my lameness, I hope it goes away.
I had a good day today.

Viente-tres

2005-12-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

The Gang's All Here

2005-12-04T08:33:00.000-05:00

When my grandmother was about 7 years old, she played a piano recital. I imagine Nana made her take the lessons because she appreciated music. Years later, my grandma would tell people that she only remembers how to play "Isle of Capris," something I can only take her word for since I've neither heard that song before nor heard my grandmother play the piano. She took tap dance lessons too, and because she wanted to, not because Nana coerced her and Jack (my Great Uncle) to do something else. This little fun fact came out when I was in high school and dipping my toes into my own artistic forms of expression.

Needless to say, Grandma doesn't really remember this piano recital or having the picture taken. In fact, I'm not convinced she remembers who all these girls were. So it was 1931, and in case you don't remember, there were only 48 states, people were living in Hoovervilles because of the depression, there was no Social Security, and the Star Spangled Banner came to be what it is. Meanwhile, Ginger, Catherine, June, Pauley and Lenore were playing in a recital at their piano teacher's house. Someone's mom stopped them before they went in, dressed in their Sunday best, to pose (facing the sun apparently) for a picture to capture the day. More than likely the whole fiasco took about ten minutes getting the girls to stand still and then setting up the camera, and just as quickly as it was snapped it was remembered. No one would guess that 74 years later, Pauley would go to her home computer, filling up no less of her house than a small desktop, and electronically send it to Ginger, who would receive it at her own home computer less than a minute later. And so it was blogged.

When Does the High-Risk Sexual Behavior Begin?

2005-11-30T18:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been MIA for so long. Lots of things happening that don't deserve the attention of the World Wide Web. Here's a picture of what I ate for Thanksgiving dinner... by myself.

It wasn't all that bad and I got to keep all the leftovers, so that was ok. Heading home for xmas though, so no worries, the family oppression will not disappear, promise.

I'll try to stay in touch more often, and hopefully have things to say. Just thought I'd say hi.

nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
why do you try to hold on
to what you'll never get a hold on
you wouldn't try to put the ocean in a paper cup

Harriet Doesn't Want You To Know About This (Unless You're a Republican)

2005-10-19T19:33:00.000-05:00

Fortunate Son

2005-10-13T17:20:00.000-05:00

Man, this baby is SWEET!

(nice work, Kate)

Metro: Cut It Out

2005-10-12T18:55:00.000-05:00

There are some things that just really irritate the crap out of me about traveling on the Metro Rail every day. Now I know I shouldn't complain because we have a pretty sweet public transportation system in Metro, but there are some things that would make my commute just THAT much better. Here's what bugs me:

When you roll sooooo slowly into the station. Step it up, stop teasing.
Stopping at the station but not letting us off. You're there! Open the doors! I never want to hear this again: "Please stand by, this train will move forward."
What the hell are you doing with the doors? If someone is trapped between them, screw 'em, close the doors once, and let's move on. "Please stand clear of the doors. Thank you." should be replaced with "Sorry fuckers, be on time."
Stop talking so loudly into the speaker. We KNOW we're at Gallery Place/Chinatown, you don't need to yell about it.
Stop mumbling into the speaker. You might as well not even use it if you're going to be so unclear.
When you arrive at Silver Spring, or any other station that terminates before the actual end of the line, don't turn off the lights before the passengers get out. We know this train is out of service and we're all going to get off (even if it's not our stop, because as you so loudly and/or unintelligibly put it just before arriving, "another train is directly behind this one".)
Turn on the G-D escalators. I'm sick of it.
Replace the carpet in the old cars- it's gross.
If you aren't sure when a train is arriving at a station, don't estimate on the electronic signs. Changing it from 4 minutes to 6 minutes to 3 minutes to 19 minutes is more annoying than not knowing how much longer. We're not playing Power Ball here.
Please make a week pass that is cheaper than my regular weekly expenditure from Silver Spring to Metro Center. Thanks.
Stop screwing around with the Red Line and give us back all of our tracks. We need them.
Tell PGC to build something around the Fort Totten station. What a waste of a stop.

That's about all I have for now, although I'm sure tomorrow morning I'll think of something else that irritates me. Like maybe the pee smell outside of the entrance to the stations at Silver Spring, Takoma, Fort Totten, Union Station, Judiciary Square, and so on...
But yeah, Metro, if you're listening, please help us.

But...

2005-10-10T18:09:00.000-05:00

when he talks in his sleep, it's in spanish.

Why Boys Are Lame

2005-10-08T18:05:00.000-05:00

Or How I Learned To Just Give Up On It

HE: I guess I'm going to have to buy another air mattress since I have nothing to sleep on.
ME: Well if you go to the mall or something, can I come too?
HE: I guess so, why do you want to come?
ME: I like spending your money.

(later)

ME: (calling) Hi, how's the new place?
HE: It's good, pumpkin.
ME: Where are you?
HE: Oh, we're on the way to the mall to buy a few things. Like plates.
ME: Oh.
HE: Do you want to come?
ME: Aren't you already there? I'll never find you.
HE: Well, that's ok.

(later)

HE: (calling) Hey is JC Penny cheap?
ME: Yes.
HE: It is?
ME: YES.
HE: OK, well I'm going to buy some plates.
ME: I know.
HE: Why didn't you want to come with us?
ME: Because you already left, I would have if you had called to invite me along.
HE: Well, that's ok.

Harriet: Cut It Out

2005-10-06T20:01:00.000-05:00

If it's not the eyeliner, it's something else, isn't it.

Something Else You Really Ought To Know

2005-09-24T19:43:00.000-05:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(76% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(16% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

The Patchouli Was Thick In the Air

2005-09-24T19:19:00.000-05:00

joan baez

It wasn't a bad protest at all. A touch unorganized, but what do you expect from hippies?

People of the District: Cut it Out

2005-09-21T21:52:00.000-05:00

Seriously, this one is for the ladies. Please just stop it. It is no longer ok to wear your white sneakers with your white socks over top of your hose with your business suits. It's just not OK any more, and I'm ending this practice now. You aren't being practical. Practical is buying a pair of shoes you can freaking walk in. They exist, and they can look stylish too. I know. I have several pairs of this sort of shoe and I wear them every day to and from the Metro, my apartment and work. So please, for the love of god, only wear shoes that are in the same genre of outfit: no more athletic + business = ok to wear, ok?

Feliz Cumpleanos, Mexico!

2005-09-16T17:45:00.000-05:00

Just saying hello to Mexico. Good job, guys, Spain sucked anyway.

http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independencia

It's What You Think It Is

2005-09-09T22:11:00.000-05:00

I sat cross-legged on my bright yellow bedspread in my bright yellow room in the second floor of my parents bright suburban home, staring at all of the tchachke (magazine clippings, like the word drugs or of Leo DiCaprio grabbing his crotch, some ribbon from a play I was in, a post card, etc.) and cried for a while. It was the first time life had felt just really overwhelming. I was in high school and back then, was very active in everything. It was my Senior year, I was in two choirs, a musical, two plays and was playing softball. I also wanted to get into college. On top of that, I was battling this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I had everything that I wanted, was healthy then, and aside from the faint hint of my parent's marriage falling apart, I was for all intents and purposes doing just fine. But regardless, I felt sad; dissapointed.

It had come down to softball. We were only about 3 games into the season, but already I was feeling the dissapointment. I was tottering between 2nd and 3rd string pitcher on a team where the 1st string pitcher never went out, even during double headers. I had worked so hard during conditioning and enjoyed my teammates and the game so much. It was a fun thing to do, but at the same time, I worried that I wasn't making time for myself; for my potential college education. I was tired and dissapointed, and while I wanted to want to stay, I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.

I sat in my room that afternoon after practice struggling very hard with the decision to stick with the team and remain "under durress", or to let it go and give myself something for once: a break. Ultimately, I ended up sticking with softball, but my life never really changed. I made it through, obviously, and got into a college that I liked, but the dissapointment in life in general never really goes away. There are always times when I feel completely overwhelmed and depressed about life, despite my apparent good fortune. By nature, I am not a happy person (it makes me funnier, I think) and so in spite of a mostly good life, the tiny struggles like too many extracurriculars, or not enough attention to myself add up on me. Perhaps I am abnormally weak to the pressure, or perhaps it is my disposition (which I cannot improve) that creates a self-fulfilling prophesy for my life. I have made it this far in my 26 years, and perhaps will go on to do another 26 or so more, never quitting softball, but constantly wondering if I should.

Made for Real People

2005-09-07T19:57:00.000-05:00

It's true, it really is. It's all there. What infuiates me most about this person, is perhaps the fact that his head really does not look like it belongs on his body. That and I also think that rather than being helpful to people like Billy Blanks or Richard Simmons- they truly care about the fatties, not the money- he's all about the bling.

Maybe I'm not infuriated by him, maybe it's the nausea, combined with disgust, combined with terror that's bothering me. Maybe it's the website with the very long page of pictures of John Basedow without a shirt on. Maybe it's the ambiguous "tip" of the month, which is really just a sort of uplifting string of words with an elipsis thrown in for drama. Maybe it's the fact that some of the products he sells contain whey.

Oh well, all I know is that when I receive my FMS Motivational Music CD in 6-8 weeks, all the answers to the questions of life will suddenly become clear. In the mean time, I have a call to make...

This Is A Concern

2005-09-05T21:22:00.000-05:00

I'm now part receptionist at my new job. Each morning from 7:45-9am I answer the phone and greet visitors, offer them coffee and so on. This is perhaps my busiest time of day (yeah, work is still flipping boring- am I not challenged enough being a secretary?) and one of the tasks I get to do is listen to the voice mail of what accumulated from 6pm the day prior. On Friday, I received a message from a gentleman running for the president of the Democratic Republic of Congo, which as you know, has been on my mind before. Turns out, the elections, the first in, oh I don't know, probably history, were supposed take place back in June, but one thing lead to another and they just couldn't get around to it. So they've given themselves an extension (how does this work? Iraq does this too, why can't we do this?) until the end of the year. Needless to say, the man who called was hoping our little Fourtune 500 would give him some money for his campaign. I'm guessing the answer is no, but it was a very interesting message to receive. Anyway, I have very little hope for a fair election out there in the DRC, as getting to a polling place will be, oh I don't know, impossible for most people. I hope things work out for the best.

I'm also a touch concerned for Colombia. Apparently, in Colombia it's ok if you want to break into your neighbor's house and hold them hostage for a given period of time and for no apparent reason. If you'd like to blow something up very near to where people live, this is ok too. And if you're a cop, it's alright if you want to accept bribes to turn the other way. Living in Colombia is no piece of cake, even if you're theoretically successful. Georgie has been chatting it up with Presidente Uribe to get the drug thing cleared up and a bit more attention is being paid to the South American country. Hopefully people will start noticing that civil war.

Thirdly, I have not lost track of Afghan and every single other Middle Eastern country where women are being treated unfairly in the name of religion. Islam is an endlessly intriguing religion, and I don't blame it fo the cause of the troubles so much as I do the men who are constantly, in every religion, interpreting it incorrectly. Let's not forget the Afghan women.

Lastly, and perhaps most obviously, I'm freaked out by this country. Apparently it has become acceptable to stay on your presidential vacation for a few days while things take care of themselves down south. I could go on, but it's late, and my list of things that make me cry at night is growing ever longer (anti-choice justices, exhorbitant healthcare costs, anything having to do with immigration and national security, and so on). It's important that if any of this intrigues you, that you Wikipedia it, or Google it, or cnn it. Knowing what's happening outside of your little social circle of the couch, the tv, and yourself, is inherently important. So do it.

Not as Bad as "No" Not as Good as Progress

2005-09-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

The FDA is at it again.

Things to Know

2005-08-30T12:56:00.000-05:00

This comes from a token person, and you are reading it as a punishment for something you did wrong.

1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
The Dixie Chicks. I never want anyone to see that on my iPod on the train.

2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
I don't raid the fridge at night, but if I do raid, it's almost always for some sort of pizza-related product.

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
I only cry at commercials, not movies.

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Have my penis removed.

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Stairs and escalators. Don't know why.

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I guess I fold my arms. I pace too much and talk too fast when I speak in public, I don't know if that's nerves though.

7. Are you a pyromaniac?
No, my mom taught me that if you play with fire, you'll wet the bed. She's a smart lady.

8. Do you have too many interests?
Is this possible? I wish to have more interests.

9. Do you know anyone famous?
Not yet.

10. Describe your bed?
Full-size. Excessive pillows.

11. Spontaneous or planned?
It depends on what. When it comes to hanging out, spontaneous is totally cool, but I find that it takes some planning to get more than two people in one place at a time these days.

12. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Winona Ryder. Without the stealing. That would be my brother.

13. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. and Euchre too, but it doesn't mean I want to play.

14. What do you carry with you at all times?
Herpes. (some of these I just have to go for)

15. What do you miss most about being a kid?
The simple pleasures like getting a kick out of spinning around until you get dizzy and fall down.

16. Are you happy with your given name?
Yeah, and people have always told me they can't imagine me with any other name.

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
I don't see how this is possible.

18. What color is your bedroom?
What color is laundry?

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
David Gray, I forget which song.

20. Have you ever been in a play?
Yeah, you could say that.

21. Have you ever been in love?
I suppose.

22. Do you talk a lot?
Less than I write.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I'd like to say yes here and move on, but...

24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
I like the approach of pretending to be ingrossed in fingernails, an iPod or the road ahead.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Typically.

26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
Uhhhh...?

27. What is your ideal marriage location?
Not doing that.

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
The piano. That would have been more realistic than the guitar.

29. Favorite fabric?
Velvet. Like on the art posters.

30. Something you both love and hate?
Money.

31. What kind of bedding do you use?
I'm not sure what this question is getting at. Should I say hay?

32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
Ha! ...Friends!

33. What's the one language you want to learn?
Spanish. After so many semesters of it, you'd think I'd have a better handle on it.

34. How do you eat an apple?
Baked. In pie.

35. What do you order at a bar?
Killians or Rum and Coke.

36. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
Just my ears.

37. Do you have tattoos?
Yeah. love it.

38. Do you drive a stick?
If you define "drive a stick" as "ride the Metrorail", then sure.

39. What's one trait you hate in a person?
Passive Agressiveness.

40. What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
$9 Target kind.

41. Most frivolous purchase?
Pedro the iPod. So totally worth it though.

42. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Well comparitively no, but I've been told otherwise.

43. What do you cook the best?
Mexican. Love it.

44. Favorite writing tool?
Keyboard?

45. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Blend baby.

46. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
I was a man for Halloween once. That was fun.

47. What's one car you will never buy?
Is this question real?

48. What kind of books do you like to read?
Something that will change my life.

49. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Make some arrangements.

50. Burial or cremation?
Whatever's cheap at the time. Is there a cupon?

51. How many online journals do you read regularly?
sixish?

52. What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
Getting my way. hah!

53. If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
I don't need to show anything. If I don't like someone, they are removed from my life.

54. Do you cry in front of your friends?
I just started doing this recently. I'm such a baby.

55. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
I think the size thing gives everyone the idea that I'm really butch and tough.

56. What's one thing you like to do alone?
Shower.

57. Are you a giver or a taker?
I give a lot and as often as I am able. I also ask for a lot from my friends.

58. When's the last time you cried?
It's been a while. I'm spent.

59. Favorite communication method?
Words?

60. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
Beers=3 or two tall and a short Liquors=3 shots

61. Do you think you're cute?
I think I'm funny.

62. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
I have trouble changing my mind in front of friends.

My Adventures in the Real World

2005-08-24T18:38:00.000-05:00

Let's face it, no matter what you do, the first week of work totally blows. You could love everything about your job, but until you know how to do it, it's absolutely miserable, and 5pm can not come soon enough.

Started my new job this week- Monday was a very important day of signing one paper and meeting several people then heading home after an hour. Tuesday was a different story. The group from California was in town for a meeting, so obviously, in my first three hours of work, I sat in taking notes. I have only ever taken notes for Campus Programming Board. And maybe Show Choir. I had no idea what they were talking about (what is it with the corporate world and their acronyms?) so I wrote down everything that I could. Reminded me a lot of college. After that, I was relieved by the woman I am replacing (she's still around for another month so that I get training) only to sit for the rest of the day with pretty much nothing else to do. I explored the company website.

Today was slightly better in that there was a little bit more structured training. I actually got a job description and started on some online training modules. I have so much to look forward to tomorrow.

I finally felt like I belonged in the city today. I left for work and got in the elevator with four other people who were dressed exactly like me. I walked to the train and sat with other people who got off at the same stop (or a stop or two before) as me. I took lunch in a break room. I couldn't get onto the first train home because it was too busy, and when I finally did get on, I had to stand the whole 25 minute ride home. I have a plastic badge with my picture that I wear on my belt and I sit in an office area that is essentially a classified cubicle. The only thing that was missing from my day was a conversation around the water cooler about last night's episode of Big Brother.

I am an adult... until happy hour.

Forwards 101

2005-08-22T13:33:00.000-05:00

Story in Tampa Newspaper

Will we still be the Country of choice and still be Americaif we continue
to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in Americabecause it is the Country of Choice??????
Think about it . .

All I have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings. It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.
This says it all!

This is an editorial written by an
American citizen, published in a
Tampanewspaper He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!

IMMIGRANTS,
NOT AMERICANS,
MUST ADAPT.
I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we
are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
we have experienced a surge
in patriotism by the majority
of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had
barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about
the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there
are a few things that those
who have recently come to
our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of Americabeing a
multicultural communit y
has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we
have our own culture, our
own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speakENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language.
Therefore, if you wish to become part
of our society, learn the language!

"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women,
on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented.
It is certainly appropriate to display it
on the walls of our schools. If God
offends you, then I suggest you
consider another part of the world as
your new home, because God is part
of our culture.

If Stars and Stripes offend you, or
you don't like Uncle Sam, then you
should seriously consider a move
to another part of this planet. We
are happy with our culture and have
no desire to change, and we really
don't care how you did things where
you came from. This is
OUR COUNTRY,
our land, and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the
right to express his opinion and we
will allow you every opportunity to do
so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag,
our pledge, our national motto, or our
way of life, I highly encourage you
take advantage of one other great American freedom,
THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

It is Time for America to Speak up
If you agree -- pass this along;
if you don't agree -- delete it!

AMEN

Dear Dad,
Thanks for the email. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and the man who wrote it is right. I should take more advantage of my freedoms as an American. That is why I have decided to move to Vancouver, British Columbia in Canada with my Arab immigrant boyfriend. We have decided to marry there as soon as we are able to obtain our greencards (and of course once his assault charges get cleared). This should not take more than a few months since Canada does not have as much useless red tape as the United States. I guess this is what you face when you move to a country with no prejudices against people from other countries. I was thinking that I’ll be happier there anyway, and maybe I could take some of my liberal, left-wing feminazi friends with me in order to open up more jobs for the people of his country who believe in just the ideals the man in Tampa is writing about. In Canada, people are against gun violence, for marrying whomever you love no matter what, and have no enemies in the world who are wanting to bomb, invade, or otherwise obliterate the country. I know that, as a loving father, you are worried about my safety, and to return the favor, it only makes sense for me to move to a safer place where there is no danger of a building falling on top of me. So dad, thank you, as always, for shedding some light on the country’s values and your own. It has allowed me to see exactly my place in the country. Tell grandma hello.
Love,
Megan

Just Read The Post Before This Instead

2005-08-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

Been trying to be more regular with this thing (regular like Mylanta) to make up for horrendous oversight during a particular "moving" time in my life. Not much to mention, except I met my friend D. for a drink on Thursday. We went to college together and had a lot of catching up to do. We're hoping to make some sort of Happy Hour Habit a reality.
I got a job. It's at a fancy company, that I'll wait to tell you about until I'm more familiar with it and I know whether or not I'm going to be defaming it on the internet. Monday is my first day anyway.
I saw Crash (I realize I am about 5 months behind here) last night which was good. We held hands the whole time and they weren't even too clammy. Anyway, this was a great movie and well worth the $1100 (or thereabouts) I paid for it. I highly recommend seeing it if it's still in a theater near you. We saw it at AFI Silver too which made it even cooler- that place is so sweet I don't feel bad about the grand it costs to get in.
Anyway, that's the news, I suppose. Please make sure you did not miss the post below. If it moved you, write your senators, this is something they mostly don't care about.

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses ...Unless There Are A Lot of Them

2005-08-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

As if hating the government weren't easy enough...

So I'm here in D.C. with a few of my old students (who now, joyfully, are actually just known as people) and I've been keeping in touch with them here and there. Most of them are international students (for reasons that are obvious to some) and therefore have particularly interesting stories. Let's take one friend for instance, we'll call him Apu, because if you knew who he was, it'd be funny.

Apu has had a rough year; aside from the general senior year wastedness and I.S. trgedies, he's had to deal with a very sick mother who recently passed away after several months of touch-and-go. Because of the family's religion, she had to be buried within 24 hours, making a trip from D.C. to Pakistan in time for a funeral out of the question. Not only that, but had he been able to afford the ticket and make it there in time to be with his family, there was a chance that he would not be allowed back in the country. You may find this absurd, but it's entirely possible that at any moment Condosleeza Rice (or whoever's actually in charge of this) could determine that we cannot allow any more foreign nationals from a country like Pakistan into the states, regardless of whether or not they were already there before. On top of all of this, Apu was reduced to dealing with the death of his mother (the most important person in a young Pakisani man's life) thousands of miles from home and completely alone.

Several days later, things began to look up for him when he was offered a job with a major company, let's call it Blackboard, Inc., because that's actually the company and I'd like to smear their name now. Blackboard was going to offer him a fantastic salary and benefits (way WAY more than what one would make, in say, Student Affairs, their first year out) and not only that but they would sponsor his H1 Visa application. [An H1 Visa would grant a nonresident alien (for example, an international student who just graduated from college) work status, allowing him or her to work in the U.S. for three years. After three years, the nonresident alien may apply for a different type of Visa (for example an F1 or student Visa) or reapply for H1 status. Having a Visa is different than getting your greencard, as Visas are for temporary things and greencards grant you permanent residence status. You can apply for your greencard under a number of conditions which remain confusing to me. You can get more about greencards and Visas off the Wikipedia, and I can move on with the story.]

This of course, was a wonderful turn of events for Apu and he rounded out his temporary position with some random company, and headed off for a short vacation visiting family in the country, a welcome repreive, I am certain. Apu returned this morning to the news that as of August 12, 2005 the H1 Visas had reached their cap. Meaning there are no more. Fucking hell. The application and $1000 fee were returned to Blackboard and Apu was politely (?) told to try again next year. Which he may do, but will still have to return home during the time his current status (also known as his Optional Practical Training) ends and the H1 begins. This amounts to about 3 months. Not so long unless you are the company who is waiting on your brand new hire to come back from a (seemingly) 3-month vacation. Needless to say, Blackboard's interest in Apu waned, and they rescinded his offer. Apu sits home now, in Prince George's County weighing his options: marrying an American or going to college in Canada. I don't know which is worse.

It's Not Just About the Hott Uniforms

2005-08-13T16:55:00.000-05:00

I feel that as a captain of the Rythm N Blue Dance Team for two years in a row, that it is important to write about this story. My sisters in pom poms, we salute you!

Cheerleader chant helps cops nab crash suspect

Girls repeated license plate number of car that left scene of accident

Home of the Penguins

2005-08-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

the view from the living room

Lenny Can't Help You Now

2005-08-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

So, funny story.
We're driving back to Silver Spring when all of a sudden my brother's car exploded.
Let me start at the beginning.

Thursday afternoon on our way back from El Canelo (my last cheese dip in wooster, so sad) when Danni made the realization that on the way back from Silver Spring on Sunday, she would be driving by herself for 6 hours. Most people would be like, man, this is a huge bummer, but I guess I can sing along as loud as I want to the radio now. Not Danni. Danni falls asleep in the car. Even if she's the one driving. Plans, henceforth changed and Kate, darling that she is, borrowed her parents van to take all of my stuff out in. Upon realization that said van would not, in fact, hold all my stuff, plus my brother's stuff, plus four of us, I quickly called my dad to see if he would be willing to drive my brother out in addition to us taking the van. Needless to say, he suddenly had to work on Saturdays and could not get away. So my brother agreed to take his car (despite its unreliability) with all his stuff. We tried to talk him into meeting us in Wheeling rather than driving the 3 extra hours out of his way to Wooster, but he's afraid of getting lost (understandably) and so followed us from Wooster on Friday morning.
So things were going along nicely (ok, we did leave Wooster an hour later than planned, but whatever) up until about 5 hours into the trip. We were maybe less than 2 hours from Silver Spring when my brother's car, which I was riding in began to smoke. We quickly pulled off at exit 68 (on I-68, mind you) to inspect. It appeared that several quarts (that's possible, right?) of oil had exploded all over the insie of my brother's car. Fuck. We stood around for a few minutes trying to decide what to do- Danni called her husband and I called my dad, whereupon we determined that it wasn't oil on the inside of the car, but dirty antifreeze. Apparently this is better. Kate and my brother rode up the street a bit and went into a gas station to get the lowdown on garages. Fortunately, Danni, making up for her need to ride in the car with at least one other person, revealed that she had AAA. We called a tow and waited 2 hours (it was dark at that point) for him to arrive.
AAA let's you have 100 miles of free towing. It was very tempting to try for Silver Spring, but we settled for Gaithersburg instead (which is a town I will never return to.) We reorganized stuff into my brother's car so that the two of us would fit in the van on the short ride from G'burg to Silver Spring. Upon his arrival with the giant semi-esque tow truck, the driver looks at me and says, "So, where are we headed?" This to me seemed an odd question, and I immediately thought I'd say "Uh, gee, I don't know sir, aren't YOU the driver." Thought better of this since there was a good chance he was a killer and would stab us at some point on the two hour ride. Very good chance of that. We called AAA, who refused to give us directions because the drivers dispatcher should have given him that information. (Yes, AAA, we agree, but that doesn't really help the situation. Thanks for the great customer service.) Eventually, we got some directions out of them; that's their job, right, their M.O.? We followed these to the T, with Kate and Danni leading in the van. Naturally it brought us to a dead end street in some neighborhood. Genius.
Long story short (is that still possible at this point?) we dropped the car off randomly at a service station we saw along the way (the driver had called the dispatcher, Lenny, again, and got us back in the general direction of where we wanted) and made it into Silver Spring (which was apparently less than 15 minutes away at this point) no less than 6 hours (and .4 mi. left to go) after our intended arrival time. And then we unloaded the van.
Worst moving experience ever. No one was hurt though, just really tired. The moral? Broken down Dodge Neons named Iris will get you $650.

Sedaris, You Ass

2005-07-25T08:55:00.000-05:00

Apparently someone has taken my voice and/or writing style and has successfully published several books with it. I just finished reading his book, "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris. That guy has some funny shit, and is apparently making money with it. Should I have already been doing this?

thief

I Suppose You're Wondering

2005-07-24T09:51:00.000-05:00

This is one of those posts where I address my readership directly, litter them with details (or "dets" as Beth would say), and in turn, send them away bored. Deal with it.

OK, I'm here, as you may be able to tell from the last two posts (which I saved on my not-connected-to-the-internet computer until last night), and there is an apartment in the picture. If I hadn't already sent about a million text and picture messages this month, I would show you a picture of my new living room with the massive windows and neutral carpet. I live in Silver Spring, Maryland (remember?) next to the Giant Foods and CVS. A block over is Einstein's bagels and, my dream place of employment, Starbucks. (I don't know if they're hiring, and I still don't like coffee.) We have a pool and our utilities are included in the rent. Who is we? My brother, darling that he is, and provided his probation officer allows him (I'm not kidding), is moving in at the end of the month, because apparently that's as soon as he can get here. I envision myself paying more than half the rent...
Also coming up is my trip back to Wooster to get my stuff. I'm flying out of Reagan this time, the 10 extra bucks is worth it since I can take the train all the way there. I'm getting back on Wed., packing the rest of my crap, hanging out with people (social interaction!!) , and then driving back. We are having a major caravan with about 4-5 people. I hope they understand that I have no furniture or places to sleep.
It's fun to be able to independently travel around an area without having to rely on a generous friend to drive you. The Metro is a great thing, and i forsee it tapping into my budget a lot more than I thought it would. It's just too nice to be able to take a train to Old Navy/Best Buy/the National Cathedral to go and do something. It's wonderful. I wish I had someone to do it with.
Overall, the big city is being good to me. A couple of major things on the to-do list (find friends, get a job, etc.) and life will be peachy.
Or cherry blossom-y.

The Underground, The Subway, The Metro

2005-07-23T20:54:00.000-05:00

Things That Happened There:

I sat next to a Monk.
Some girl told some sweaty dude that her friend almost got arrested by the transit police for eating a cracker on the train.
My farecard was destroyed by the Metro Gods with more than 6 bucks left on it. They’ll send me my money back in 4-6 weeks.
I went up the wrong escalator.
I went down the wrong escalator.
I waited at the wrong platform at Metro Center.
I waited, by myself, in the semi-dark at St. George’s Plaza.
I got my suitcase stuck in the turnstile at Union Station.
A business man picked his nose.
A child repeatedly asked his mother if she farted. (She did not.)
I sat next to a T who asked me if the train normally stopped between stations. Yes, this is the red line.
My iPod ran out of batteries.
I managed to get on at Farragut West instead of Farragut North.
I bought a Smart Trip card, which makes you feel totally cool and totally local.

Also, I am paranoid that because of the steep incline of many of the escalators, that people are looking up my skirt.

Walk Left, Stand Right

2005-07-23T20:52:00.000-05:00

I have become quite adept at navigating the Washington D.C. Metro system. At least the orange and red lines. As it turns out, I have moved to MARYLAND, Silver Spring to be exact, which is a city that wants to call itself “Little District.” There are big bright buildings outside my window at night, and live music in the courtyard three blocks from my apartment on Thursdays. Silver Spring also has an affinity for penguins, which I have not yet been able to figure out, but I like it nonetheless. (Exhibit A: Weird mural outside the subway of penguins coming and going from the Silver Spring Metro stop. Exhibit B: Random penguin statue outside of an office building. E insists that this is not a penguin, but a bird.

Maryland is nothing like West Virginia, this I am glad for. On a massive road trip with B, we noted several pieces of what can only be described as crap, lying either alongside the road or somewhere in a field. We changed the state motto to “West Virginia: Leave your shit here.” If I were going to change the Maryland state motto, based solely on one city, I would change it to “Come to Maryland, we’re almost D.C.” I don’t even know what the real state motto is; I’ll have to check out a license plate later. I also don’t know anything about Maryland state history, and as soon as I find a proper library (read: NOT the Silver Spring one-room-wonder), I’m checking out several books to catch myself up.

Maryland is also not like Ohio, which was pretty much the point to begin with. I assume there are places outside of Silver Spring that resemble the corn/soy/cow fields of Ohio, and that there are just as many republicans out there, but proximity means everything in this case. If I don’t see it, it must not exist.

I have no idea what the people are like here, but I have learned that the homeless are the same everywhere (at least here in comparison to Columbus, Cleveland and Dayton). There is a man in a wheelchair that I think might be blind, but I’ve also caught him possibly following the bounce, bounce of a large woman’s behind. He holds a 2 quart size container that probably used to hold macaroni salad from his local grocer’s deli waiting for me to drop a nickel or a cheeseburger in. One day I might. There is also an old man on the other side of the street from Might-Be-Blind who is the epitome of a homeless person. He has a long gray beard, doesn’t always wear a shirt on the most humid days and keeps all his belongings (I’m assuming) in two Giant Foods grocery bags. He sits cross-legged at the corner of the Starbucks staring at the ground and hoping for something worthwhile to fall into his Styrofoam cup. Might-Be-Blind and Typical-Bum keep me sane: Don’t forget why you came here, they’re probably telling me. Peoples’ Styrofoam cups are waiting…

We Love to Write and it Shows

2005-07-06T20:02:00.000-05:00

Oh god, did I used to write things here?

It's been insanity. Pure insanity. To catch you up, I'll make you a list, because I do my best story telling that way...

My last day of work was last Thursday. It was so bitchin. One office took me out to lunch and the other took my computer away so they could get it ready for the next person. The last day of work rocks. The day after the last day is even better when you know everyone else has put on their khakis and gone into the office for the day and you are sitting in front of channel 36 with no bra on watching Dawson's Creek and IMing all of them about how great it was to sleep past 9:00.
I proceeded to do what I like to refer to as "dick around" for the next four days. During this time I packed one box and made five to do lists.
On July 3, I watched my fourth and final version of the Wooster City fireworks from Kate's backyard. We drank Labatt's and tried to talk her 9 month old into falling asleep. He has since learned to crawl, and I attribute that mostly to everything his Auntie Megan has taught him.
On July 4, I spent the day being in Ohio. By this I mean that I attended the 4th of July Fireman's parade in OrrVegas, Ohio. OrrVegas is about 15 minutes out from Wooster, in what direction, I don't know or care, all I can tell you is that they have more corn there than they do here. I shot about half a roll of film on things like clowns on motorcycles; hooched up little babies who claimed to be Lil' Miss Firecracker or Lil' Miss First Runner Up or Lil' Miss Gonna Have an Eating Disorder; the two little bitches across the street who could only shriek the word "candy" when the paradees walked by; and my very favorite, the tractor section, which was funny because they weren't tractors (since Orrville really has no true farms to speak of) but souped up lawnmowers with sweepers or blowers attached to the front. It was about 113 degrees out and part of my ass melted off, which in my case, is bad.
My friends went on an office retreat for the past two days, and so I was finally left in peace to pack my things. Right.
Today I fly out of Cleveland at 8:30pm. You may be saying to yourself, "But this post is dated 9:02, wtf?" Fortunately, you're reading the 'blog of the most retarded person on the face of the planet. I misread my itinerary (dumb bitch) and looked at the arrival time instead of the departure time. Fortunately, the lady at the counter was in a good mood and I was flying Q class (yeah, I don't know either) so they gave me an even trade for tomorrow at 10:30am. That's depart at 10:30 and arrive at 11:45. Numb nuts.
Needless to say, I'm not finishing the packing that I didn't get done (they're letting me leave some of my stuff here so I can come get it later) but writing on this thing because I feel guilty for leaving you all high and dry.

Good list. I promise to write more when I have a topic that's worth sharing. The big city and no job should provide for a lot of time for that kind of thing.

Ask Little Lyndsey

2005-06-22T21:20:00.000-05:00

A new feature here at TMISE- the advice column.  If you have questions,
feel free to send them here, and I will forward them along to our esteemed
Little Lyndsey.

Dear Little Lyndsey,
I am working towards my life-long dream of working as a barista at
Starbucks Coffee in Washington, D.C. and was wondering if you have any
advice on that?
How can I be sure to get a part time job?  How can I have as much
fun as you seem to?  What should I wear when I submit my application? 
Where am I?
Please help!
Wannabe in 'Bucks


Dear Wannabe in 'Bucks,

i am honored. thrilled. so thrilled and honored.

if you are serious about seeking employment as a barista, i will give you
the same advice that was given to me.

be super-friendly and outgoing when you ask for an application. order a
double-tall latte or a coffee and drink it black.

on your application, talk about how much you love the Starbucks atmosphere,
and how it makes you feel like you're at home no matter which store you are
in. talk about how much you love their coffee and think it's the best tasting. do
the same thing in your interview. in other words, be ALL ABOUT them. lick their
balls a little. they really eat that shit up like candy. and don't worry about
lying. eventually everything you say will become true.

as for finding a Starbucks, go to Mapquest, type in your address and search
for the nearest one. i guarantee there will be at least like twenty-five stores
within a five-minute drive from your apartment. also, don't waste your time
filling out apps at stores who say they "aren't hiring but are always
accepting applications." someone else will be hiring. they are forever-growing,
all- encompassing, etc.

do not wear jeans to your interview. i don't remember making this mistake,
but Jodi told me the other day that she almost didn't hire me because of it.
i'd say a little skirt would be nice if you're just turning in an application. try
to hand it to the manager. the baristas are douchebags for the most part
and will loose it or spill something on it or set it on fire accidentally.

once you've scored a position, just sit back and let the health benefits at
twenty hours flow, (in four to five months) baby.

Next week: Putting Out Fires at Work: Literally and Tom and Joey from
Dawson's Creek: Will They Make It?

You Thought I Was Ignoring You!

2005-06-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

I can only justify doing this if I consider it to be somewhat productive.
So
Heres my to-do list...

Clean off desk
Clean out files
Make sense of files
Finish "how to do my job" document for L & M
Give away clothes
Throw away crap I have not seen in three years
Throw away any other crap- create at least 190 pounds of garbage
Find boxes
Go to Planned Parenthood (no worries)
Get new ID
Get passport- maybe
Start schedules for next 3 or so weeks
Pack kitchen
Pack living room
Pack bedroom
Pack bathroom
Pack closets
Do something about bike
Get giant suitcase that fits entire wardrobe
Find apartment
Find part time job if necessary
Learn how to use the Metro

Not an exhaustive list even though I tried to keep it broad. I can see there's a lot ahead of me. I'm flying out to stay with friends and find an apartment on July 6- can I get this done?

2005-06-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

I love you

What I Do

2005-05-31T16:44:00.000-05:00

Me: What should I do this evening? ...besides a load of laundry...
E: Two loads of laundry?

And so it begins, another season of the dreaded Summer Conferences. Today was the official first day of hell, strike that, reverse it- Summer Conferences, I meant to say, meaning that I start my routine of bouncing around from one office to the next every day until I explode. It's not as exciting as it sounds- part of my job is to be the "Residence Hall Coordinator" for Summer Conferences and general scheduling bitch/office bitch/Physical Plant contact person. It's icky, and definitely not the reason I get up each day. A positive is that I get to supervise and get to know six sudents who are members of our crew, and even more of a bitch than I am. They get to do the dirty sweaty work out "in the field" while we sit around in the AC and tell them what to do. Fortunately, we usually get a pretty good crop of students (it's a highly desired campus job because it pays well) and they don't usually complain too much. I like them. They're about the only positive thing.

10 Things That I Hate About My Job During the Summer

Moving from one office to the next- mornings in one building, afternoons in the other.
Keeping track of information/paperwork/phone calls at two different desks/computers.
Not knowing what's going on in either office since I'm never around.
Not getting t do the work my way so that when there's a mistake (which I probably anticipated) I have to bust my butt to put the fire out.
One particular person who becomes more and more difficult to work with each year that I've tried it- I'm not kidding, this person is so disorganized that it affects the work I do.
Not being able to be in charge enough to "fix" what I want, but being in charge enough that I get blamed for stuff anyway.
Really, really boring days.
Really, really long days.
I actually miss the RA staff.
No vacations- it's my busy time of the year, but everyone else is taking time off. Sad face.

Outside of all that? At least I have my laundry...

The Cabin

2005-05-29T20:29:00.000-05:00

A blurry cell phone picture of my
weekend getaway, complete with
mom.

What That's About

2005-05-24T19:06:00.000-05:00

Not as possesive as this

A long time ago I was dating this boy who lived sort of far away in Philadelphia and every once in a while I would spring for a plane ticket and fly out to see him for a few days. The relationship was good because we communicated a lot (that's really all we could do, after all) and because I was still fully independent of any reliance on the relationship. In other words, if a day went by that I didn't talk to or see him, it obviously wasn't a big deal. Anyway, whenever I would fly out, I would have this incredible sense of independence. I could go where I wanted to, even if it was 500 miles away from what I called home. And when I got there? Anything I wanted, wherever and however I wanted. Not that college was constricting me from doing these things, but the reason to go do something new was obvious, and there was still that reassurance that someone would be there at the gate (because back then, you could still do that kind of thing) to greet me.

The picture of Gollum is funny for one reason and purposeful for another. 1. That boyfriend really liked science fiction, to the point that he actually had a staff (not like that, sicko) that he walked with when we went to South Street. It was mildly embarassing, but at the time I thought it was an indication of what kind of an individual he was capable of being. 2. Gollum, in the books anyway, is very much a hermit. Not an entirely appealing occupation, but intriguing nonetheless. I'm not planning on moving under a rock or anything, but with adulthood often comes the realization that we really are more or less on our own in this world. But not in an icky-Gollum-ish way.

Discount Drug Mart Saves You the Runaround

2005-05-21T14:42:00.000-05:00

I was not more than a block off of campus today before that tiny taste of freedom had me thinking of how much I am looking forward to leaving. It is refreshing to know, given all the anxiety I muddled through surrounding the decision to move on from a career I no longer believe in. I had just finished helping on of my RAs find a home for the summer and had no sooner put my headphones on than I caught a glimpse of the horizon just over Dino's drive through, and realized how important my independence would be to me in the next few years of my life. While walking to the drug store and McDonalds is a nice 45 minute jaunt that accomplishes important errands (like buy chips and salsa), there is no trip that takes me to a museum, concert, or good friend's house for a visit. E tells me I am better than this job.

Wooster has treated me well over the past three years and has been a good place to transition from college, but there are bigger things in my heart and challenges I need to face before I'm too old to find a place for them in my life. Maybe I was listening to the right kind of music at the right time, but as I turned towards my residence hall and saw the empty parking lot, I did remember all of those things that I would look back at and miss.

Lending out various kitchen items (can opener, pots, pans, flipper, etc.). Waiting in the lobby before dinner. Loitering around the info desk with the Conference Crew. Sweaty hall checks. Committees. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "This is your apartment???" Birthday drinks. Phone numbers. Business cards. Staff meetings. Staff meetings. Staff meetings. Cooking out. El Canelo. Margaritas. Rum and coke. Finals week. Kenarden parties that I broke up. Kenarden parties that I pretended to sleep through. Beer bongs. Singer/songwriters. My guitar. E's guitar. Deflatable bike tires. Taco Bell. West Wing season one. OC/Gilmore Girls/Alias/CSI/House/Grey's Anatomy. Trading CDs. Mike and Ikes on the coffee table. Training. In-service. Away messages. IM. WHN. TMA. RSE. Fourth floor of Armington. Propped doors. Thrown locks. Mass hysteria over graffiti. More mass hysteria. The Voice. Lacrosse equipment. Holden and the Annex. Mr. Arden. The interrupting staff triumvirate. Challenge of the Week. Staff development. "Staff development."

It's a long list, and I'm hoping maybe to add to it over the next few weeks. I'm also hoping to add to the larger list after these next few weeks. We shall see what the resume's bring back.

The Guest House

2005-05-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

Well they've done it. They've gone and sent another batch of youngin's out into the world with all the "rights and priveleges afforded" to them as a result of their newly acquired degree. In many ways I am glad to see some of them go, and very excited for others, and proud of even more. So for those of you who read this (nosy) and who finally did it, after all those hours of (pointless- you'll see what I mean soon enough) work, congratulations to you. May your guest house continue to be full of the kinds of arrivals you've met here at The College.

The Guest House
The being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently
sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still,
treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame,
the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each
has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~Rumi

It's Time For Another Current Events Post

2005-05-12T16:05:00.000-05:00

I have been reading about the war in the Democratic Republic of Congo for a couple of years now, and besides wondering why more Americans don't know about what the fuck is going on in the Congo, I've always thought that it is quite possibly one of the most appalling human rights concerns in the world right now.
Guerilla warriors in this central African country have developed their own weapons of mass destruction; rape.

Every one of dozens of armed groups in this war has used rape as a weapon. Amnesty International (AI) researchers believe there has been more rape here than in any other conflict, but the actual scale is still unknown.

You can read more about this over at the Ms. website.
You can flip out about it by donating to these fine folks:
Amnesty International
Human Rights Watch

More Dry Than Sandpaper in Sawdust

2005-05-08T22:20:00.000-05:00

I swear, there really just isn't anything to say. I'm still looking for a job, and things are still happening here, and I finally told my mother that I'm leaving this state. She was quiet for a minute and then didn't say anything negative. (Maybe that's as positive as you can get in this situation.) It's damn near finals week and I'm just ready for about 9/10 of the population of this campus to freaking LEAVE already. This includes administrators and faculty. Get out of my house. I unloaded about 65 pounds of old clothing into the reuse bin today- I don't remember what's all in there, since I created that bag about six months ago, but I'm planning to drop another 20-30 pounds next weekend. I wish I could sell my old clothes for newer, more stylish ones. Ones that are appropriate to wear to work. DANG! Cost of living... Last night there were three dudes outside my door (where the pop machines are conveniently located) yelling and kicking some things. So I put on my glasses and squinted out into the hallway, "You guys need to quiet down." Then turned, and went back inside. On my way, I overheard one of them say "Yeah come on guys we just got done killing like 5 or 6 people, let's be quiet now." I should have turned around and said, "Maybe not, but you did wake me up and that's almost as bad," but I was tired and it was 2:30. Grey's Anatomy is a pretty good show, and I feel like it really rounds out my evening pretty well- it's a good follow up to the mindless (and frequently sexist) humor of Family Guy and American Dad, and don't forget the classic Simpsons. They're doing some GD construction over the summer here and it's going to knock out cable for 3-4 weeks. I am devastated.
Ok, I guess there were a few things to write about, but honestly, you're not missing anything.

Fuck This Week

2005-04-29T17:26:00.000-05:00

...and it's mom, Last Week, too--

Oh For Crying Out Loud

2005-04-24T13:31:00.000-05:00

The next picture in my camera
phone is just like this one, only
I have one of my fingers extended.

Not Everyone Is Gonna Get A Room

2005-04-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

It's Room Draw time, once again. It is that time of year when college students all across, uh, campus are seeking out roommates, scoping sweet bi-level triples, and program houses close to the academic side. And it is once again time for the rising Sophomores to get "anally raped by Housing" (an actual quote). Every year, small, residential, liberal-arts colleges across America experience the effect of larger and larger first year classes. We save 550 or so spaces on our campus for incoming first year students, which means that a large percentage of rising sophomores (and some really screwed Juniors) don't get housing. At the end of the story, about 96 students haven't been housed yet. It's something that happens every year, and we expected it and are prepared to deal. Eventually the summer "melt" takes place- students withdrawl or take a leave from school, not as many first years decide to attend as who paid deposits, etc. and the Sophomores get the leftovers over the summer.
An interesting twist this year is that one of our residence halls is being used by the faculty (their building is being rennovated) for their offices for the duration next year. They had their option of a less-desireable-to-students portion of a residence hall, or a cluster of several small houses (which undoubtedly would receive some new carpet and paint ahead of time) but chose the nicer, more desirable hall instead. After tonight, we thought we'd make t-shirts based on the actual numbers at the end of Room Draw:

Number of students left to be housed: 96
Number of potential spaces in the building being used by faculty: 96
Level of frustration to staff and students: priceless

Like I said, we expect this every year, but it doesn't make the situation any easier on the students and it doesn't make us feel any less bad about what we have to do (it also makes us more annoyed than ever with the selfishness of those tenured-sons-of-bitches). Some people are just gonna end up with a bad situation. It's kinda like the recent rejection letter I received from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. I never actually completed my application, nor did I formally withdraw it. I would have rejected me too. The point is, you can try as hard as you want, and you can complain to the highest authorities in a strongly worded email, but real life is real life. You have to pay your dues, so to speak, and unless you're a.) God (or the Pope) or b.) a Trustee, then you'll just have to deal for the time being. (For instance, the argument that you pay 35 grand to go to school here, isn't completely true, because first of all, no you don't, the government does, or maybe your parents do; and second of all, it's COMPLETELY RANDOM- WE ARE NOT OUT TO GET YOU.)
I feel bad about all the kids who got "anally raped by Housing" tonight, and I sure do wish we could screw the incoming first years instead but that's bad for retention. It's all a part of growing up, maybe this is one of the teachable moments we talk about in Student Affairs- where we learn to deal with rejection, pay our dues, and go on living without throwing ourselves on the floor when we don't get our way (actually happened). Sometimes in life, we get the sweet-ass double single in the Senior hall, and other times we get the dusty basement room in the Greek building, and sometimes we get nothing at all. Not everyone is gonna get a room.

Meet Pedro

2005-04-14T16:37:00.000-05:00

What's playing on your iPod? Everyone has them, so don't try to pretend you're too cool for this...

This is Pedro. He's just 4 gigs, and
we here at TMISE, find him adorable!

What are the first ten songs that come up on your iPod when you tell it to shuffle? Pedro, for instance (who was named after Pedro of Napoleon Dynamite fame and is a foreshadowing of the young hispanic child I will one day undoubtedly raise/use for hard labor) , sings me the following...

1. U2- Beautiful Day
2. Pearl Jam- Garden
3. Simon & Garfunkle- Hazy Shade of Winter
4. Pete Yorn- When You See the Light
5. Erin McKeown- Dirt Gardener
6. R.E.M.- The Great Beyond
7. the Whiles- Emily
8. Grateful Dead- Scarlet Begonias
9. Beck- Devil's Haircut
10. Norah Jones- Don't Miss You At All
Bonus Track: Golden Slumbers- Ben Folds

OK- Now you go. (You can also use your Media Player/Winamp/Whatever for this game, you big dumb no-iPod-haver.)

If It Weren't For the Internet, I'd Have No Place to Brainstorm

2005-04-10T19:34:00.000-05:00

The way I look at it, I have two options, A and B, where A equals most enticing and B equals a little bit enticing. If you add the two together, we get C, which, in and of itself (all commas aside) is probably impossible to get to in the first place. Then again, you could multiply or subtract A and B and get an entirely different result all togehter, thus causing more trauma and I threw that book out the window a while ago.

But let me begin from the beginning... which is where you begin... after all...
Things We Know (an annotated/linked list)

Ohio is getting old
Therefore, moving is certainly an option
I have no real career interests, currently
But, I no longer wish to be involved with student affairs
But I still like working with students
My career, for the next 5-7 years at least, is not going to be what makes me happy (no comments or link here, just take it as truth)
It's probably the people that I'm with who will do that (obviously)
I have no real skills like numchucks or magic
I can be nice on the phone and organize events, I'm also familiar with developmental psychology
Mom and Dad will be sad if I leave
According to Fox News, smoking during pregnancy could possibly have affects for two generations. Fucking mom.

That Being Said, Here's The Question:
What am I going to do next? (You have three months to tell me exactly, secure housing, and send me on my way. Ready... begin!)

The way I look at it, I have two options, A and B. (sound familiar?)
Where A equals move out of the state and to a place that I'm interested in, potentially with people I love, and worry about the work later, since it's only good for buying food and paying rent anyway.
And B equals find a job that could be interesting and/or lead to bigger and better things (think, career advancement) but could possibly not include much of a relocation.
Again, A is most enticing and B is a little bit enticing. Somehow combining them (and I used math before, but we all know I have no business playing around with that) could make for a very interesting result, no matter how unlikely.

Looking back at number 6 on our list, we see that this guides the answer most directly. Perhaps, it is also the most telling of the eleven. Anyway, beginning with number six and moving forward, we see that not caring about our job, relocation and people are the top three most important things (in no particular order) related to this decision. In which case, it's obvious what I should do.

Continue to sit around and wait and see if I get lucky...
Any and all comments are welcome...

Aw, How Cute, They're Trying to Win

2005-04-05T17:44:00.000-05:00

This is Joe Randa totally scoring on
their asses. Good job, The Reds, let's
lay off the needles, ok?

The Bracelet Will Be Pin-Striped

2005-04-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

I have five unrelated things to talk about here today:

Other people's 'blogs are more interesting than mine. This week alone, ck has talked about plastic surgery, seibu has talked about Pat Buchanan's run in with some dressing and a weird 911 call, and LJo has written about meal worms. WTF people?? When will I get to the good stuff???
The Pope is dead and those pictures of him creep me out. Someone pointed out to me that this isn't really that different than a wake where they have the body available for the friends and family to view. And? I also think this practice is weird. I feel no better.
I recently discovered this thing called the College Facebook. Apparently you can go there and put your picture up and write about your interests, such as illegally keeping a rabbit in your dorm room. The concept frightens me greatly, not only because it's perfect for stalking someone (you can find out what building they live in on campus!) but also because of all the evil I can use it for against my students. Someone please warn them, it just isn't fair that I must have you busted in this way...
Corn hole. I played this a couple of years ago with my dad's family in Cincinatti. At the time I thought it was kind of stupid- really the kind of thing that gets old after one or two quick rounds. Apparently it has made it up to north east ohio and people are playing it as a drinking game (because, really, what can't you make into a drinking game?) which makes it potential for fun slightly more intriguing. (Needless to say, and rather embarassingly, we weren't drinking when we played it.) Unfortunately open containers aren't legal in Wooster. Stop playing the corn game before you're too intoxicated to actually miss each other's crotches with the bean bag.
Peter Jennings has lung cancer. This can only mean one thing- more cancer exploitation (I mean awareness, right?) and a possible rubber bracelet. Save the journalists, I guess. I hope it isn't because he smokes (and I truly do hope he can get better).

Then Again Who am I Kidding

2005-04-04T20:44:00.000-05:00

Let us not forget that during the last papacy, the Catholic church gave us child sexual molestation cases, gender inequality (well we're not ordaining them), completely useless sexual health education (no condoms! no pills! just don't do it in the first place!) , creationism/big bang=non-commital, extreme homophobia (and we're certainly not even going to let them in to begin with), and a general sense of what-the-hell-are-we-supposed-to-do-now.
To end the post on a positive note, he was the most progressive human-rights oriented Pope ever. Gee, look how far we've come...

It Wasn't ALL That Bad

2005-04-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

John Paul II with Mehmet Ali Agca, who the Pope forgave in 1981 after his attempted assassination.

Kavorkian and Roe: On The Same Page?

2005-03-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

Can I write this entry and still be a pacifist?

OK, so we have one Terry Schiavo who, one day, probably in passing, told her husband that she would never want to live like a vegetable. Perhaps they were watching a story on the news about someone in a coma and made the comment, ever so casually, that would evenutally change the way people thought about life and death- at least for a few weeks, 15 years later. Perhaps it was one night after she had thrown up her dinner- again. Maybe she told him she hated living in this skin, and it made sense to him that she would hate living a life any less than the hell she was already going through. So years later, when she had her accident he thought back to this time, knowing that she couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror each day when she could walk, talk, feed, bathe and use the bathroom by herself, let alone as a "vegetable." So when her parents, too sad to lose their daughter to another world, argued that Michael did not know her true wishes; after all, she never wrote it down, he could do nothing but go to the courts. He was her husband, he knew her best. They were her parents, they taught her those values that would not allow her to end her life "prematurely."

Then we have Jane Roe, who in 1970 decided that it was completely unfair, unsafe, and unconstitutional for the state to deny her the right to safe and legal medical procedures. She was unmarried and pregnant from her rape and living in a state where it was not safe to have an abortion. Not only that, she was too poor to travel to where it was safe and had no where to turn until she met Sarah Weddington. Together, the mysterious Roe, and Weddington filed an injunction against District Attorney Henry Wade. The landmark case ultimately resulted in a constitutional amendment which would allow access to legal abortions across the country. While it is still under debate as to whether or not much has changed in the past 35 years, it is no longer illegal for a woman to seek out and have this procedure. Most abortions, especially in the first term, are preformed by a simple D&E, or dilation and evacuation (it's exactly like it sounds) which causes little side effects or danger to the woman and is normally preformed as an outpatient procedure. The fetus is removed from her body, in more cases than not, before it has even completely developed a heart or a nervous system that does more than maintain life via the brain stem.

Jane Roe and Terry Schiavo have a lot in common. The preservation of life is a tricky thing. As a self-proclaimed pacifist, my ultimate goal is to preserve life, health and safety above all else. I hate guns, hitting and I'm even middle of the road when it comes to throwing things (you gotta have an outlet somewhere). The aggression that motivates these things is the major concern, but the result is just as difficult. Pain and suffering. It is that pain and suffering which drives our opinions on things like euthenasia, abortion, and even the death penalty (I've decided not to even go there on the latter). Why would someone choose to end life when they ultimately have the option to preserve it? The answer to this conundrum is incredibly simple: it's personal. People go through a lot of things: difficult families, bulimia, rape... and it is impossible to judge how it is a person should deal with these things in their own lives. At what point does the government get to determine how to do that and save people from making the wrong decisions? At what point does the general public have enough sense to make them for themselves, learn from mistakes and move on?

Terry Schiavo is laying now, starving at her hospice waiting for a death that should have come to her over 15 years ago. Her family, including her husband, are there with her, helping her through until the end, praying for her. Jane Roe (who actually has a real name, Norma McCorvey, and is a real human being) has most likely moved on although it is impossible to ever fully recover from an abortion, let alone a rape. In fact, it is rumored that she has turned a different corner in her life and now considers herself pro-life. Whether or not she now believes her decision was right, she was at least given the opportunity to make that decision on her own. While it may seem like two great losses, the truth is, the government is, as it should be, looking seriously at the amount of involvement it takes in people's personal lives. And if nothing else, there's a little bit of comfort in that.

Screw the Color, Is It Even There to Begin With?!?!

2005-03-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

I'm looking for some life, here. Where can I get some life? Specifically something that doesn't make me argue with people that I love, and supports my addiction to doing good things for other people? Where can I find that? Because it's not the internet.
I'm reading this book, perhaps you've heard of it, called What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles. Apparently, he rewrites the damn book every freaking year, and all I have to work with is 2002. The year I graduated! Anyway, according to Dick (yeah, I said it) there are two types of job searches- you're everyday-I-need-more-money kind of search and the life-changing-brand-spankin-new-career-path-change-of-life kind. I am decidedly on the latter, not surprising because I tend to either over-dramatize (hyphenating is fun!) or take too personally any sort of life decision, from cooking dinner to looking for jobs. Dick also says, "The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it." He suggests a few exercises to help you with said vision, including one that involves drawing pictures. As I was reading about this exercise, I immediately thought I would do better with writing a story about it, but there at the end, he denies me and says that words are left-brained and therefore catering to my "safekeeping self."
I've never read a self-help book before, unless you count psychology texts. I don't intend to start taking advice from them now, but if nothing else, this book gets you thinking about what you should be thinking about. Right? And at this point, I could use any sort of direction that's available. Including but not limited to online tests, random searches on google and altavista, and surveys of students and friends.
Not only do I not have a vision of what I seek, I'm pretty sure I don't even know how to begin looking for it. Who cares what my vision is when all I know is that I want to get on another plane. We have a lot of work to do here before I start drawing pictures of things.

Buy This Man's Movies

2005-03-20T17:24:00.000-05:00

Gael Garcia Bernal

Gael and I have been together since Amorres Perros, through Y Tu Mama Tambien, Los Diarios de Motocicletas and one day, el Crimen de Padre Amaro. I suggest you do the same. He is my favorite Mexican movie star. And so on...

Another Reason to Hate Me

2005-03-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

I think there's something everyone should know about me. Know this and accept it because it's not going anywhere any time soon. I don't like kids. I'm not ashamed of this. They can't talk for the most part, and the ones who do only complain, cry or say incredibly rude things to each other or those around them. Not only that, but they must be paid attention at nearly every moment because they're either hungry, bored, stupid or they've shat their pants again.

Children love me. They're like dogs, they smell fear. It's like I'm the most imaginative person they've ever met in their lives and they just can't get enough of me. Even babies stare at me. (Or maybe they're shitting, but they seem to be staring.) My cousin has like 35 kids or something and a couple of years ago at Christmas at her dad's house, two of them were playing with some newly acquired toy that reinforced gender/sexual/socioeconomic stereotypes. I don't know if it's because I look like one of them, because my face is naturally closer to theirs and therefore more inviting, but somehow I got roped into playing along. The boy was playing with Legos, and because he literally had the brain power of a three year old, I was forced to build each and every model on the instruction sheet (this is if you're not creative to come up with the following:) as well as a robot who would "fly and throw arrows and eat birds." What a freaking weirdo. The girl was worse. Not only did she have a fake makeup set (shoot me) but I was her first and only customer at Mykayla's Little Shop of Horrors. For like 19 hours straight. I think most of my hair was left behind in that tiny pink plastic brush of hers. After I was sufficiently hooched out and and designed and constructed a bird-eating robot, they climbed all over me until my scoliosis eventually turned the other way. Couldn't we have read a book? "Our Bodies Ourselves" maybe?

I'm reminded of all this because I just returned from the most recent Disney movie. (What was I thinking? It's 7:30 on a weekend- of course there will be little people crawling all over the seats!) For the most part, the kids were sitting quietly shitting in their pants or begging for attention, absorbing all sorts of social messages about their life via computer animation, but I couldn't help but be annoyed with all the free loot they were getting. I'm talking popcorn, candy, and CAFFEINE. I don't mean to sound crotchety, but isn't it getting close to bed time?

I suppose one day I will want to have a couple of them around. Something about a clock ticking and the greatest adventure of my life, etc. etc. I don't anticipate this happening soon. I like my freedom, I dislike shit, and I am not having one of those episiotomies.

[Editor's note: The Spanish word of the day just so happens to be malcriado, meaning poorly raised, spoiled. Coincidence? I think not!]

Lies: A Very Important List

2005-03-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

My job is great because I have a lot of power to make decisions for other people. Sometimes I can do something just because I feel like it. Not only that, but I am also able to distance myself from my advisees by keeping a strict policy of being only slightly honest with them about certain issues. This helps with any concern of them ever really getting to know me, or vice versa. It can all be very rewarding.
Marriage is probably one of the best things for our society. People should pair up for life all the time, but only if it is a. legally recognized and b. accepted by all of society as "normal." If it is only one of the previous, that's sort of ok, but if it's neither, I find it disgusting. Love is so great.
A good way to look professional at work is to get grease on your pants, notice it on your way out the door, and leave them on anyway.
Staring, whistling, or making lewd comments towards co-workers is always a good idea, especially if said co-worker is a member of the opposite sex. Try walking around to the side of their desk, looking them up and down, and then saying, "You look hot today."
There are no benefits to music.
Pizza causes cancer. [Author's note: this could actually be true, because pretty much everything causes it somehow, but for the most part, I believe that not only is pizza amazing, but also not a carcinogen.]
An entertaining thing to do when living in the same town as a college campus, is to hang around on the main avenue through the center of campus. If you are in high school, periodically cruise up and down the street and yell out any old thing to any one you see; male/female, international, black, citizen, whatever; go crazy! Bring eggs, coins, or cold beverages to throw!
Filling an empty Diet Coke can with wine and calling it Jesus Juice is cool. And not weird.
All dogs must die. In fact, let's ban together to rid the world of all domesticated animals, including parrots, goats and hedgehogs.
TV is the root of all evil. So is shopping and salty food.
Lists in 'blogs annoy people.

Hire Me. Please. For the Love of God.

2005-03-08T17:48:00.000-05:00

Does all this make sense? I need help...

Megan Horn

Education Ohio Wesleyan University Delaware, Ohio
2002 Bachelor of Arts Degree, Psychology

Experience
Area Coordinator, Residential Life & Housing
May 2003-Present The College of Wooster

Researched and developed the Residential Senior Experience program for senior students living in two Residence Halls.
Act as a liaison with administrative offices, design programs, manage a budget and supervise committee members for the Residential Senior Experience.
Provide Residence Hall Support for the Summer Camps & Conferences program which serves over 2,500 visitors annually, by assisting camp directors and staff with housing, work requests, and safety issues in Residence Halls.
Develop training program for and supervise 5 members of Summer Conferences student crew.
Supervise three paraprofessional Residence Directors for four residence halls with approximately 400 upper-class residents.
Serve as a Residence Director of 140 students and supervise 7 Resident Assistants.
Develop and plan Resident Assistant in-service monthly training for 90 staff members.
Provide Professional Development resources including books, seminars, conference information and campus offices for Central Office and Senior Staffs.
Assist in Resident Assistant and Resident Director selection and training.

Administrative Intern, Lowry Center and Student Activities
August 2002 - May 2003 The College of Wooster

Serve as a resource for student leaders of nearly 100 different campus organizations.
Manage the production of all Late Night programming using a budget of $8000 for 20 events.
Plan and co-facilitate the Emerging Leaders program for approximately 50 first year students.
Support the Student Activities Board through officer selection, event assistance, and advice based on past experiences.
Develop and publish a monthly electronic Student Activities Newsletter for student leaders and faculty advisors.
Coordinate the collection of Advisor Contracts from campus organization leaders.
Serve on the Committee on Social Organizations, which oversees all local greek organizations.
Coordinate with student leaders to develop and edit Organization Charters for Campus Council.
Responsible for the execution of Annual Scot Spirit Day club fair, which serves the entire campus.

Residence Director, Program Houses
August 2002 - May 2003 The College of Wooster

Oversee five Resident Assistants and over 160 residents for 21 Program Houses.
Assist in selection of future RAs as a member of the RA selection committee.
Advise and evaluate all Residential Life programs and events for houses.
Ensure community standards and healthy living and learning spaces by maintaining contact with Custodial Services, Campus Security, and the Wooster Volunteer Network.

March 10th Is Important Because...

2005-03-07T17:38:00.000-05:00

Please choose the best answer:

It's the day after what would have been my parents' anniversary. Had they continued to love each other, this would have been year number 28 for them. Give or take.
It's a very, very important night of television.
It's a new moon, and that means I will have access to a dynamic burst of startup juice. It's about damn time.

Choose wisely grasshoppers, there is only one true answer. Until then, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

This Post Will Make You Feel Good About Your Life

2005-03-03T19:15:00.000-05:00

I don't like writing here when I don't think I know what I'm trying to say.
Not to say that I knew all those other times, but this time, I am really pretty conscious of the fact that I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do.
There are three things that a screwing up the perfect world of puppy dogs and rainbows that I have built for myself. Ignorance is bliss, and I seem to have found plenty of both. As long as ignorance also counts as not completely thinking through your feelings, doing something for three years because you can, and then throwing a fit when you realize what you've done.
To some of you, this may come as a surprise. To others of you, this may just come.
I'm quitting my job.
In, like, a couple months when I find something else to do. As it turns out, and I'm taking a big risk here, because students read this thing sometimes: my job is just a huge farce. In other words, this stuff is like the chocolate cake melting in the sun, so good until something real gets to it and destroys! Destroys!
That being said, there is also the moral (and you thought I didn't know that word) obligation to make a difference to someone somewhere. Not that you can't in this job, but there's that paragraph that I just wrote that is making it complicated. Plus, I can do more somewhere else. Somewhere else meaning in another field, in another state, in another frame of mind.
So all those days I didn't write, I promise I was thinking of you all. All 300something of you (why do you keep coming here?) who checked in even though that crap from a week ago was still up. I was writing in my mind, look at it that way.
What's my motivation here?

When We Fought

2005-02-25T20:33:00.000-05:00

When we fought, it wasn't like we were intentionally trying to hurt one another. We were hurting and wanting someone to identify with that so we hurt one another. When we fought it wasn't because it drew the neighbor's attention, and it wasn't because we wanted our friends to see that we were real. When we fought, we meant to be talking about something else, and the pettiness of my job, of his work, of either one of our previous sexual exploits or the weather was what floated to the top and created a thin covering like pudding skin over the real issue. We fought, and it really wasn't anything.

"If you wanted to spend more time with me, you would have finished the assignment and you wouldn't have had to go meet with your professor in the first place. Sometimes I swear you do this on purpose. Please put down the guitar."

"Well it wasn't me who decided that we should forego the whole money thing. This is a capitalist nation. You're too much of an idealist for our own good."

"What is this 'our' anyway? You said that before. This is me. This is you. This is you chilling with your professor instead of meeting me."

"Are you mad?"

"No. I just hate you."

"I love you, baby."

Oppress Me, Please

2005-02-19T20:12:00.000-05:00

Yet another well-intended study gone horribly horribly wrong.
MSN Women's Health has a story about a study reported in the Journal of Occupational and Evironmental Medicine about female employees aged 18-45 and the effects of PMS symptoms on job performance.

But the largest impact of PMS was on missed work time and productivity. Women with PMS had an average 14 percent reduction in expected work hours per week and a 15 percent reduction in work productivity, compared to women without PMS.

Good. A scientific study to prove that women are too emotional to be a.) paid the same or b.) hired in the first place. Thanks JOEM! We needed this!

Athens Wasn't Built In a Day

2005-02-18T16:09:00.000-05:00

I'm heading south this weekend to visit good friend Sarah at OU. I probably haven't seen Sarah since maybe The March last April, so I'd wager it's been almost a year since that girl and I laid eyes on each other. Sarah and I went through some wellness problems together our senior year in college and spent a lot of time on the couch together at The Women's House where we lived. When I moved into the house, a few of my friends were skeptical about how well Sarah and I would get along, given her bright personality and my don't-take-crap bad attitude. Surprising to them (though not me) we got along just fine, and in fact, ended up having a lot in common. We developed plans for a comedy talk show and she spoke to me in Spanish while I answered her in English.
Eventually, we graduate and I ended up at The College of Wooster for an internship and a job as a Residence Director. My first day of RA training a large fellow with very long hair approached me. (I'm not going to lie, he was possibly the first person I noticed- you would understand if you've ever met him.) "I'm John Overholt," he said, which surprised me. I had heard that name before, and what are the chances of there being two people with that name? "You lived with my sister," he said, and just like that, I became a part of the Overholt family- one that has been extended to many a feminist and many an international student. I was John's supervisor at the time, but when his family came to visit him, they invited me to dinner, and when John's appendix exploded last year, I helped his mom and Sarah do his laundry. Sarah's mom joined us in D.C. and always asks about my health. They're a crazy family, and I haven't met the youngest one yet, but there is always an adventure to be had when any of them are around.
So John and I are hopping on a 3 hour tour to Athens, Ohio this evening. His birthday was last week and he wants to celebrate with his sister- I just happen to be in the same vicinity, so I get to go too. Oddly enough, I received a letter from OU today inviting me to an interview in two weeks for an Assisstantship for next year. (I am complacent.) Coincidence? I think not.
Here's to the weekend, and the old/always-kind-of-friends.

List, Baby

2005-02-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

Here is a list of things...

...That I Have a Crush on:

Erin McKeown and her music
Poppies
Today's daytime weather
Cheetos, cereal, and Mexican food
Someone
The O.C. (I'm not proud of it)
Any dog

...That I Should Stop Doing

Drinking
Not cleaning the apartment
Eating out of the garbage
Drinking
Piling laundry on the floor instead of the hamper
Getting annoyed with Dr. Phil and not just changing the channel
Hating exercise
Drinking

...On My To-Do List

Dinner with stressed out student
Attend program on hate crimes
Laundry
Vacuum
Pay VISA bill
Go to drug store
Have a meeting about Senior T-shirts

One Day Moves Into Two...

2005-02-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

Oh hell yes... anyone? anyone?

Here are the latest Indigo Girls tour dates!

03/01/2005 40 Watt Club - Athens, Georgia (Benefit for the Craddock Center)
03/02/2005 (To Be Determined) - Dahlonega, Georgia
03/04/2005 Konocti Harbor Resort - Kelseyville, California
03/05/2005 Caesars Tahoe - Stateline, Nevada
03/18/2005 The Norva - Norfolk, Virginia
03/19/2005 Paramount Theatre - Charlottesville, Virginia
03/20/2005 9:30 Club - Washington, D.C.
03/22/2005 Scottish Rite Auditorium - Collingwood, New Jersey
03/24/2005 Odion - Cleveland, Ohio
03/25/2005 PromoWest - Columbus, Ohio
03/26/2005 Madison Theatre - Covington, Kentucky
03/28/2005 Overature Hall - Madison, Wisconsin
03/29/2005 Pageant - St. Louis, Missouri
05/09/2005-05/13/2005 The Washington National Cathedral College - Washington, D.C. (Cry Mercy, Shout Glory! The implicit and explicit music of proclamation - Conference by Don Saliers and Emily Saliers)
05/10/2005 The Washington National Cathedral - Washington D.C. (Lecture by Don Saliers and Emily Saliers)
10/29/2005 Olivia Cruise - San Diego, California

The latest official Indigo Girls tour information can always be found here:

http://www.indigogirls.com/tour.html

As always, props to anyone who can name the song the title of this post comes from...

What Does This Say?

2005-02-10T21:46:00.000-05:00

Hay cosas numerosas que un administrador de la universidad debe confiarse en a su carrera. La comisión con la diversidad es una. Y puedo decirle, yo soy así que confiado...

¿Cuál está sobre escuchar alguien habla en su propia lengua (una que es diferente su el propio) que está abrogando tan? Pienso que debe ser relacionado con eso el mismo deseo de ser dedicado explícitamente al concepto de los estudiantes que amplían sus horizontes. Suena caseoso, pero es una de esas cosas sobre este trabajo que honesto crea. La gente no tuvo que como uno a, sino que ella necesita intentar entenderse.

Y me plazco ayudar con eso.

I Am a Cynical Idealist

2005-02-09T19:56:00.000-05:00

We talked about religion in our Student Affairs (again, not about having affairs with students) meeting this week. Yeah. The rabbi Brad Hirschfield showed us his most excellent documentary, Freaks Like Me. Which was touching and I enjoyed hearing from representatives of different religions including a priestess and a woman who claimed to be "nothing." He's also a very engaging speaker, and if you're in Wooster this week, I would encourage you to attend something.
All that nice crap being said, I was rather annoyed by this meeting. I do not like being forced to discuss religion as an expectation of my job. I have nothing against religion, it's just not for me. There, I said it. The social implications of having a religion are too much for me to handle. People fight wars in the name of their god, the very same god that turns its back on them when they are most in need. People hate each other in the name of their god, and when the good rabbi talked about how he would not perform a gay marriage ceremony, I was once again assured that this religion thing is not for me. If something is claimed to be perfect, how can it reject any person? Am I too much of an idealist if I say that I think there is some good in everyone, it is only how you choose to bring that good out that makes us different people? To me this isn't crap, and it isn't who you think told you to be good that matters anyway. (In fact, I'm almost possible that this direction doesn't come from any outside source but from within.) To me, religion will never be the good that I see in the world and I am the only one that can try and make or find that.
Until next time...

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
-Gandhi

A Bunch of Shit You Don't Care About

2005-02-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

First of all, tragic hipster, I know that you looked at this page at 9:33 this morning, and yes, I'm stalking you back...
That said, I forgot that I was going to write about my weekend, there being drugs involved. Now that I have your attention, let me get it again; there weren't drugs but there was drinking to excess. Now it wasn't excess in the terms of the excess that would happen in college. I did not wake up the next morning thirsty and poopy, but really just felt like I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I went over to co-worker Carly's house for some fun and we ended up buying some bacardi and coke and watching the SAG awards. (Congrats to that guy from Law and Order who's wife did his acceptance speech beautifully.) We played Friends Trivia and made it into a game which we were both too awesome at (because apparently I know every detail of every friend's life) so we altered the rules to be that if your opponent got a question right, you had to drink. We eventually turned on Almost Famous, which I haven't previously seen (which is odd, since it has hippies and I happen to collect hippies and was once a hippy). I drank some more really quick and ended up spilling a major secret to her that I'd been dying to tell her anyway. This secret happens to be none of your business, unless of course you're amazing and you're involved in the secret (that is a direct shout out to you pumpkin), in which case, you already know what the secret is and should just forget this entire post.
Anyway, I ended up going home and not doing anything and then waking up the next day to some sort of Mythbusters marathon which was totally freaking awesome. I can't believe how much trouble a toaster in your bathtub could cause (myth confirmed!!).
Then there was the Super Shitty Bowl which was perhaps the most boring football game of all time. Even Paul McCartney was boring except for when he was playing Hey Jude (and that song is worth and entire post to itself). We didn't even drink on Sunday. But we did have Taco Bell (second time all weekend- sick!) which is sorta the same.
Ok, I'm posting this shit without reading over it OR spell checking.

I'm THAT Girl

2005-02-07T20:22:00.000-05:00

There's a new thing over there on the right. It will tell me exactly how many people are not visiting this 'blog. Feel free to spy on that information and use it against me in the future.
I expect this to increase the number of jokes about the one person who reads me.
Oh, if you want one, you can totally get it yourself.

I Don't Have A Lot To Say About This, But...

2005-02-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

Why do people ask you if it hurt to get your tattoo? The answer is yes!! It's a vibrating needle!!!

Is the tiny dancer that way because she is a midget or is she just very petite?

What is it about county fairs that makes people think it's ok to wear the confederate flag? Would you put that on to go to the mall? (Who am I kidding, of course you would.)

How many times do I have to tell you I'm not going to repeat myself?

People will always sit around outside without coats any time the temperature goes above 20 degrees warmer than it has been for a given period of time. This is true if for the past week it has been 25 degrees outside and it becomes a balmy 45. See also, Idiots in Sandals.

The College Years

2005-02-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

In my haste to be productive today, I was browsing through an old burned CD with pictures and some mp3s from back in the day when it was still legal to steal those kinds of things from the internet (aka, College).

Learning a song on the old guitar,
complete with Twizzler in mouth,
instead of doing work, no doubt.

People always talk about how music reminds you of a time or a place and that is why you like it. So quickly running down the list, here's some songs I found on that old CD and what they remind me of...

10,000 Maniacs- These are the Days: The a capella group that a bunch of my friends were in always sang this song at the last show of the year. Damn they could pack the place.
Ben Harper- Steal My Kisses: Um, well... what does Ben Harper remind you of?
Any Dar Williams Song: Doing homework at the Women's House, getting interrupted by the guitar or Trading Spaces and making Dip instead.
Destiny's Child- Say My Name: Pretending to be "hip hop" and dancing around the dorm room on chairs
Fatboy Slim- Rockafellar Skank: Long-time roommate Jill. I renamed the file to "Rockafellar Jill" in her honor.
Fisher- I Will Love You: I think this chick was a one hit wonder, but my dad told me that we have the same voice.
Guster- Bury Me: Planning Springfest.
James Taylor- Copperline: Joy's dad, who played the guitar for us when he came to visit.
John Denver- Leaving on a Jet Plane: Any trip, ever, to see the boy in Philly.
Joni Mitchell- Big Yellow Taxi: Any friend who ever played this at CoffeeHaus.
Any song by Phish, Black Eyed Peas or Ekoostik Hookah: The House of Peace & Justice and the associated smell.

Those were some good times, some sick times, and some times when I was really pretty drunk... may they live on forever here in my 'blog.

Other Things You Should Probably Know About Me

2005-01-31T22:48:00.000-05:00

My Porn Star Name is: Candy Coxx

Get your own Porn Star Name

(A special holla out to ck for this fabulous insight into my personality!)

And, rather appropriately, since I've been having an affair with this album all year:

Float On by Modest Mouse

"Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans"

Laid back and real, people appreciated you for you are in 2004.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Day of Peeing

2005-01-31T17:22:00.000-05:00

I have a certain medical procedure this Wednesday that requires me to be on a liquid diet for the two days before the procedure. Today I can have whatever color liquid I would like, but tomorrow, I can only have clear liquids. That limits me to water, Sprite and Vodka on Tuesday. Let the two days solid of liquids and urination begin!
Also, I've already cheated today and had chocolate ice cream. But I let it melt...

Is It An Anecdote? Is It A Metaphor?

2005-01-28T17:23:00.000-05:00

Every other Wednesday we have a Student Affairs meeting (not as cool as it sounds- actually has nothing to do with having affairs with students). This week, we had a very special Student Affairs Staff meeting about harnessing our creativity when we "slide down the dinosaur." "Sliding down the dinosaur" refers to leaving work to go home to do what you enjoy. For example, at the beginning of every episode of The Flintstones, Fred would hear the whistle/bird blow at the end of the day and slide down his dinosaur/backhoe to head home. The term was coined by one of the Student Affairs Staff Members that works in the Wellness Center.

Anyway, we divided up into groups to do some teambuilding based on the concept of actually leaving work and how you do that (as opposed to continuing to work after you leave the office, which, incidentally, is actually a major part of my job, but whatever). The facilitators posited that this is best done by harnessing your creativity. The best part of this activity was the fact that I got to open a present which held the materials for the actvity. To my sheer excitement, not only did I get to open a present (it doesn't take much for me) but there was also an envelope included that we weren't allowed to open until the end.

The activity itself was fun, and while I'm not sure I really learned anything, I did enjoy working with my team members. But perhaps most importantly, I was pleased to find out that I am still delighted with the simple pleasure of opening a gift. The surprise and intrigue is the best part, if not finding that the goodies inside are even more exciting. While the inside of the present is important, the opportunity a wrapped gift signifies is far more exciting to me.

Then there's the concept of the "do not open until later" gift, or in this case, the envelope we couldn't open until the end of the activity. There is something about knowing that you will get to reveal a surprise eventually, but must first delay the gratification of immediately knowing that surprise. Is that asinine? Or is it that you always want what you can't have? Regardless, it's one of those simple pleasures in life that I like to take advantage of when ever I get the chance. (In other words, get me more presents!)

All that being said, the delay of gratification, the excitement of finding what is inside; I still love it when I'm allowed to open something early. I think that's part of what makes presents exciting, there's always the off-chance that mom or dad will go outside of the "rules" and let you open just one present on Christmas Eve. Part of the excitement of gift giving and receiving must be the effect it has only moments before you figure out the surprise.

As it turns out, the envelope that we had to wait to open at the end of the activity only said what the day's goal was, and nothing more. Regardless, it was still fun to wait and still fun to open. The Hallmark moral of the story? Buy people more cards and more presents, if nothing but for the sheer excitment of wondering what will happen next, and sometimes, let them open them early.

Is Nothing Sacred?

2005-01-24T18:54:00.000-05:00

Trying desperately to think of something to say, I sat there, in the closet, waiting for my mother to say something to me.

"I promise," I said, "I didn't mean it like that and you know it." I was calmer at that point, and in my mind at least, more rational.

I had just made the horrible mistake of telling my mom over the phone that the main reason I came home all the time during my freshman year was because of the boyfriend. That is NOT what I meant. I was still going through "that depression thing" and going away from college, which at the time seemed to be the source of all the problems, felt like a good idea. It also just so happened that I could make out if I went home too.

She was mad and I think that I made her cry. I was mad too. It was my sophomore year and I didn't have time to come home anymore. Not as much as they wanted me to. I also wasn't telling them how I was, or calling as often. Apparently, I was growing up (developing, as they say in the field) and it made my parents nervous. Understandably.

On the other hand, I was very tired, too tired for a 19-year-old to be, and I was figuring things out. One was that I didn't want to teach. The other was that my parents were starting to hate each other, and still another was that God was turning out not to be a real thing to me anymore.

"What if I come back next week, and then two weeks after that is spring break I think? Can you or dad come get me then?"

Somehow I managed to quell her anger for the time being. Somehow I also managed to start lying about what I wanted, which I have recently been told I still do. I like to look at it as a courtesy to those around me. Just be glad you don't know what I'm really thinking...