All The Ballers Is Bouncin'

...they like the way I be leanin.

The only thing I'll say about Thanksgiving is that, as usual, I spent a good deal of time with my little brother (who will always be little even though he's a foot taller and 20 years old). One thing that I like about my brother is how he will engage in the most elaborate of acts just to be funny. He recently took a job DJing at the local skating rink by our dad's house, and in the town we both went to high school in. (Even the name cracks me up- the Roller Haven Fun Center, henceforth known as RHFC.) Truth be told, he needs the money, but with the 12 hours a week he gets, there's not a whole lot of that going on. I secretly believe that the real reason he is a DJ for the likes of mere middle school children is because it truly is a funny story to tell. He doesn't own roller blades, and in fact, I'm almost positive he can't skate.

The benefits of the job are almost endless (and again, it's list time.)

1. Get paid for playing music, even if it sucks.
2. Say stupid shit in the mic.
3. Hit on girls who are 5-6 years younger than yourself. (p.s. this is illegal, but the whole request thing gives you a good cover)
   
4. Occasional floor guarding=falling on your ass, but with a good excuse this time instead of like usual.
5. All you can eat popcorn... off the floor.

There's more, but not being the one who works there, I'm not entirely sure what they are. In fact, I think during my middle school career, I went to the RHFC maybe twice. I didn't much engage in the kinds of things that involve that much repetition, like walking the fair (that's a whole different post altogether). Anyway, maybe he'll write in with more benefits later.

I myself have gained one small benefit from the job as well: The RHFC Fun Mix 2004. Yes, the top 13 most requested tracks according to my little brother. Before you go asking why I would want to hear Over and Over- over... and over... again, it was free, and it occupied him for about 15 minutes while he selected and (again, illegally) burned them onto a CD for me. I have listened twice now and have picked up on several things that I hadn't realized since becoming... well, 17. (Again, with the listing.)

1. There is some concern with dirt being on people's shoulders.
2. Eminem is back again. I hadn't realized he'd gone anywhere.
3. Someone is using the guitar lick from Crazy Train in their indistinguishable rap- the only saving grace of the song is that I can practice my guitar fingering while listening.
4. I want nothing to do with that girl's "goodies" unless it involves some sort of delicious fudge or ice cream.
5. URsher is having serious issues with fire. I saw his video for Confessions once, and all I could think was, "Dancing on that piano is a good way to get it out of tune, you moron!"
6. The Freak-a-Leek song should come with a disclaimer: Caution: Do not listen if you have any self respect.
7. Oh my god Becky, Sir Mix Alot is still being requested! That butt you got makes me me me so horny...
8. Someone has invented a time machine. It goes back to 1985. Someone is trapped there.
   
9. Snoop D-O-double G gives me indigestion. Always has, ever since the 1, 2, 3 and to tha 4... Drop it like it's hawt, Snoop.
   
10. Someone is singing about saving the eagles- dropping down and getting them on, even.
11. Never fails, there's at least one country song- RHFC hasn't changed a bit. When the sun goes down we'll be groovin'. That what I was just thinking.

So there you have it. All you cared to learn about the RHFC, popular music (in our town anyway), and just a bit about my little brother. Now, if you don't mind, I need to go tend to my shoulders. Ladies is pimps too! Apparently.