Harriet Doesn't Want You To Know About This (Unless You're a Republican)

Fortunate Son

Man, this baby is SWEET!

(nice work, Kate)

Metro: Cut It Out

There are some things that just really irritate the crap out of me about traveling on the Metro Rail every day. Now I know I shouldn't complain because we have a pretty sweet public transportation system in Metro, but there are some things that would make my commute just THAT much better. Here's what bugs me:

• When you roll sooooo slowly into the station. Step it up, stop teasing.
• Stopping at the station but not letting us off. You're there! Open the doors! I never want to hear this again: "Please stand by, this train will move forward."
• What the hell are you doing with the doors? If someone is trapped between them, screw 'em, close the doors once, and let's move on. "Please stand clear of the doors. Thank you." should be replaced with "Sorry fuckers, be on time."
  
• Stop talking so loudly into the speaker. We KNOW we're at Gallery Place/Chinatown, you don't need to yell about it.
• Stop mumbling into the speaker. You might as well not even use it if you're going to be so unclear.
• When you arrive at Silver Spring, or any other station that terminates before the actual end of the line, don't turn off the lights before the passengers get out. We know this train is out of service and we're all going to get off (even if it's not our stop, because as you so loudly and/or unintelligibly put it just before arriving, "another train is directly behind this one".)
• Turn on the G-D escalators. I'm sick of it.
• Replace the carpet in the old cars- it's gross.
• If you aren't sure when a train is arriving at a station, don't estimate on the electronic signs. Changing it from 4 minutes to 6 minutes to 3 minutes to 19 minutes is more annoying than not knowing how much longer. We're not playing Power Ball here.
• Please make a week pass that is cheaper than my regular weekly expenditure from Silver Spring to Metro Center. Thanks.
• Stop screwing around with the Red Line and give us back all of our tracks. We need them.
• Tell PGC to build something around the Fort Totten station. What a waste of a stop.

That's about all I have for now, although I'm sure tomorrow morning I'll think of something else that irritates me. Like maybe the pee smell outside of the entrance to the stations at Silver Spring, Takoma, Fort Totten, Union Station, Judiciary Square, and so on...
But yeah, Metro, if you're listening, please help us.

But...

when he talks in his sleep, it's in spanish.

Why Boys Are Lame

Or How I Learned To Just Give Up On It

HE: I guess I'm going to have to buy another air mattress since I have nothing to sleep on.
ME: Well if you go to the mall or something, can I come too?
HE: I guess so, why do you want to come?
ME: I like spending your money.

(later)

ME: (calling) Hi, how's the new place?
HE: It's good, pumpkin.
ME: Where are you?
HE: Oh, we're on the way to the mall to buy a few things. Like plates.
ME: Oh.
HE: Do you want to come?
ME: Aren't you already there? I'll never find you.
HE: Well, that's ok.

(later)

HE: (calling) Hey is JC Penny cheap?
ME: Yes.
HE: It is?
ME: YES.
HE: OK, well I'm going to buy some plates.
ME: I know.
HE: Why didn't you want to come with us?
ME: Because you already left, I would have if you had called to invite me along.
HE: Well, that's ok.

Harriet: Cut It Out

If it's not the eyeliner, it's something else, isn't it.