Since You Been Gone

Screw you February, you stupid short, cold month. You were gone before you were even here anyway and now, when I leave work, it's starting to be so that it's still a little bit light out.

What a rough day it's been. The woman who I once replaced until she came back from maternity leave has returned from... maternity... leave. Everyone has been under great trepidation awaiting her return and "what will Megan do when she gets back." It's like everyone thinks it's just a matter of time before I flip out at her failure at life and they're just standing by trying to get a good seat for the action. The truth is, I don't care what this woman does. There's a good chance she'll wait for her bonus in March and then give her two weeks and be off. If that's what she wants, fine, I'll be the new senior assistant. If she stays, fine, I get to work with someone who probably knows more about what they are doing than any other dumb temp we bring in. What irritates me about the situation is not knowing either way. I've worked my ass off carrying the bulk of the adinistrative weight for the past several months while she's been gone, and now that she's back, I'd like to turn over half of it. As soon as possible. I'm tired.

So we went out for a beer (4) tonight after work, bitched about Scoops for a while. I'm going to take care of P's tiny ridiculous dog while she goes to CA for orientation. We met A for lunch today and she's dating someone that sounds very awesome for her. Big meeting in the morning, should go to bed and stop thinking. Thanks, FEB for V-day and President's day; not much else to say about you, is there, except that you were in my life.

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!

Is this real? It's for tv, right? It's definitely tv.

Attention Long Lost Friends:

I don't know what you're doing here, or how you got here, or who's profile you clicked on to get to mine, and most importantly, I don't know what you're doing readint this far, but apparently you are, so- you know... welcome. Or whatever.

To update you, first and most importantly, I'm taller since you saw me last. My hands are still small and my toes are still long (and if you didn't already know that, then I guess I just spilled the beans). I have grown richer and fuller in my sarcasm and dry sense of humor; it will drive you nuts if we meet unexpectedly on the street. I still appear to have some talent but it remains unharnessed as the first day you met me in 9th grade. I am in my quarter life crisis and don't care. I still eat cereal for breakfast, prefer Bud Light over fruity drinks, and sing along to my CDs. I still have my guitar, and if it's possible, I play it less and more poorly than I did when I started. I like reading and music and Washington D.C. I lived with my brother (that is, I paid his rent for him) for about a minute and now I live with a stranger that I met on craigslist. I watch House and Grey's Anatomy but not American Idol. I'm single (not really) and looking (but not really) so if you thought I was hot then, you should see me now. I like Ani (DiFranco) and Damien (Rice) and some others you don't know and I indulge in Shakira and Kelly Clarkson now and again. I work for The Man and it steals my soul some days, but I'm ok with it because I take advantage of it right back whenever I can. I'm still terrible at returning calls and emails, so please, take no offense if I've blown you off recently, and keep talking to me, because I do appreciate it. I'm less dorky, but do more grown up things like pay taxes and work late. I like funny people and love smart ones. My favorite food has regressed to pizza even though I live in a city with amazing restaurants. I didn't vote for Bush.

There you have it, I'm glad you came and I hope you get up the nerve to comment because yes, I will go out with you, just try me.

How You Made Me Love You: Part I

My first real boyfriend was in 11th grade. Disregarding elementary school romances with boys who pulled my hair or teased me at the bus stop, my very late start was, when all was said and done, pretty good. He was tall and blonde and he played the guitar (which would later become one of my biggest weaknesses when it came to members of the opposite sex) and, very importantly, at the time at least, he went to my church. The first time I saw him, he was playing bass as an 8th grader (I was in 10th grade at the time) for a hight school choir concert. I thought he was cute, and when he was at the after party, I watched him talk to his friend as we listened to Glycerine by Bush on the CD player. It is, perhaps, one of my most vivid memories of him, ever.

I saw him very rarely for the rest of that year, and was unconcerned by it. He was simply a cute boy that would, as others always had, come and go in my life. The next year, when he moved up to the high school with me, I had all but forgotten him until band camp started. He played the trombone and I was a dancer. His friends were like him and he was sarcastic and had a unique sense of humor. I was pleased to find out that when he spoke to me, he was smart and goofy.

I invited him to hang out at my house, which, as houses go, was one of the busiest for parties on the weekend. We were a relatively calm group, most of us good strong Christians and active (as you could be at the time) with the Youth Group and after-school activities. My parents enjoyed having all my friends over. He fit in with our group quite well. I eventually developed so strong a crush, that my two best girlfriends at the time found out and somehow managed to embarass me in front of him about it (harmlessly). One laid back evening he and my friend wrote notes back and forth to each other, speaking in metaphors (they were both excellent writers, as most of us were at the time) about how strong his ankles were to play soccer, which translated to a conversation about his fears to try to be more than my friend.

We eventually decided to go out (thanks in part to he and my friend's little note-writing party) which involved a lot of staying in; renting movies with friends and going to youth group together. Our mothers talked in church and we became friends with each other's friends. We went to homecoming and prom and he made me a Valentine's Day card that involved torn pieces of a plastic bib. I loved it. Our first kiss was outside in my driveway on a very quiet, snowy night. We stayed together 9 months.

I don't remember exactly why we broke up. It was probably something along the lines of both being relatively immature and not exactly ready for a serious relationship. I was very sad about the end of it; I likely cried every day after school for several days. Fortunately, my memories of him are not of the breakup but of some of the funny, and nice times we had together. I moved on and dated other boys (one of which was a good friend of his, surprisingly causing no drama), and he dated at least two more girls that I know of, the second of which, he is married to.

Ours, although not The One, was a successful relationship, and I'm happy to include him on my list. For our age, and for that time in our life, it was a very good thing. We had someone to call every night afte school, and sometimes kiss, and to call our boyfriend/girlfriend when having one of those was key to your status in high school. We were a lot alike, and in a time in most people's lives where you feel very lonely, it was good to know someone like him and have him so close to me. I have no idea what he thinks of me these days, or if he remembers as much as I do, in fact, I'm closer with his wife than I am with him (she was a good friend from high school as well). It was a simple relationship, for simple times. It was good.

Next time: How You Made Me Love You: Part II

Strangers In the Night (And By Night We Mean 3:28pm EST)

Dear 805-559-4521,

Could you please leave a message next time? At the very least, can you wait until I answer and then hang up the phone? What are you doing there in Newbury Park, CA (71st best place to live in '05) that requires my attention and how did you get this number? If I call you back, is it going to be something scary, dirty, or otherwise fraudulent? How come you only called once? If I was the wrong number, what is your connection to a southern central Ohio phone number?

Heck, it doesn't even matter. This is the most action my phone as seen in weeks. Wanna go out?

Call me again soon, you have my number.
Love,

Megan

Grasping at Straws, Here

I talked to three different British dudes today, all on account of my vice president. One's name was Stuart and he gave me his cell phone number, which was from California.

Which reminds me.

I don't like pink, and I don't like saying that I'm having a good day when I'm really not, and I don't like having to act like kids are adorable and I especially don't like acting like I have grand plans for the evening when really I'm just going home to write in my blog and watch as many hours of TV as I can before passing out.

Just so that's out there.

For valentine's day I would like my own pet human-animal hybrid. Anyone? Anyone?

What is with the lack of Dunkin' Donuts in this city? Or any city in the metropolitan area. Or Krispy Kremes. Doesn't anyone here eat donuts? I have a cupon.

I'm reading a book by Charles Bukowski now. I stopped bringing it on the train because there were too many masturbation scenes. I was afraid that someone would look over my shoulder (we all do it) and think something of me so that the next time we meet (never) I could end up really embarassed.

One last thing, before we go, how unexcited are you about this?

Yes, I Ignored the SOTU On Purpose

... other people had better things to say.

You've not missed much any way. I mean, didn't you enjoy looking at that Kip thing in the last post every time you came here anyway?

In the meantime, I conqered Rome and developed a cure for the common cold. That was after I conducted experiments in nuclear (pronounced noock-yuh-ler) fission.

The world is full of exaggerations.

Oh, and one more thing: I've recently received intel that I have at least one new denzien following this B.S. and for those of you who are just joining, here are some of the greatest hits:

Good Day Gov'nuh
A Little too Hard, Maybe?
Retro Picture!
He's Gonna Show you How
Boring, but you Asked For It
I'd Like to File a Complaint

OK, go!