Country Mouse Comes Home

I've just returned (complete with winter cold/flu symptoms, thankyouverymuch) from my annual holiday visit home (or at least to the same general area as what I once referred to as "home" prior to leaving for college) and I have never been more happy to see Silver Spring, Maryland as I was tonight.

I really missed my mom. And I really missed my dad. And I really missed my grandma. And I really missed my aunt. And the dogs; missed them too. (And my friend P., I missed him the most, but that's another post). I split all these things up rather than list them together, because that is precisely how I miss them- as individual entities. I do not miss the large family Christmas Eve dinner and midnight service, the trashed living room on Christmas morning, the gray gray gray and the wet wet wet of the whole state, etc. What I do miss is sitting around yakking with my dad about Wal-Mart and the Bengals, explaining various pop culture phenomena to my grandmother, laughing and being cynical with my aunt, and just generally getting some mom time with my mother. I missed each of these things individually, without family drama, local gossip, or snide remarks under our breaths to taint the season, which has been my experience for the past few years.

My one on one time with these people is what I miss the most, not being in Ohio. I don't know that I would consider myself a proper "City Girl" just yet, but I have certainly grown out of Ohio, the land of oppression. I much prefer the convenience of being able to get whatever I need (groceries, ride to work, haircut, etc.) whenever I need it. In Dayton, you have to wait for things to be open (because there was maybe, A Gas Station open on the day after christmas in the whole state), travel there via gas guzzler, find a parking spot and then turn around and do the whole routine over again to get back home. I like that tomorrow I am going to mail a package, buy a vacuum cleaner and go grocery shopping all on my own time, without waiting for a ride or for someone to help me. I am significantly more independent in the city, and I like that I live here because of that.

I flew in to Dulles (ugh) this evening and looked out over the sparkly, busy city and thought, for the first time in a while, "It's good to be home." I pass the Washington Monument on the way to work and feel so lucky to think "You live and work here." I never hated Ohio while I was there, and it isn't fair to say that I hate it there now, but I have surely found something that has inspired me far more than anything (outside of my family) has in quite some time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (or "more fond" as they say in english)

I May Be Smarter Than I Think I Am

myfriendonIM: i just think that sometimes people dnt make much of an effort and it frustrates me. this week has sucked. i talked to her one day and she was shopping...no big deal...
tried to call her the next day...no answer...left message...never heard anything
talked to her the next day...trying to figure out christmas... said she would talk to her mom when she woke up and call me back...never heard anything. called today...wanted to take her to dinner and give presents...she is doing a family thing...that's not a big deal...she is doing family things until sunday...then monday she is doing the friend gift exchange...again not a big deal at all. she went to the movies one day with her bro and his friends...which isn't that big a deal b/c he is home from NY and doesn't get much time here...so i dnt care that she wants to spend some time with him. they went dancing the other night too... i just feel like if she wanted to hang out with me she could make more of an effort. is it b/c of christmas and im being petty or do i haev a legit complaint?
one more thing... talking to her tonight i felt like i was bothering her...i said "r u ok? i feel like im bothering you"...she was like no im just watchin tv

plastic castle32: well you have choices, as I see it. you can continue to put forth all of the effort, or you can balance it out. and balancing it out gives you two additional choices. you can call her as much as she calls you (rarely) and see what happens, or you can call her out and tell her that you're doing all the work and you need her to do a little bit too. I guess there's a 3rd option too, and that's just giving it all up completely.

myfriendonIM: i dnt wanna give up

plastic castle32: trust me, I have been, and continue to be in this position

myfriendonIM: megan...i know you have heard me say it b4 but she is incredible...sure there are things that annoy me...but what else is new...nobody's perfect...she appreciates and supports things no one has EVER done that i have dated and that means more to me than she knows
its definitely worth it...i just want to know what's going on in her head
i called her out on the way to Pitt last time... i said hey can i ask u something... What do you think of me? the question made her uncomfortable...she has a few issues being totally open about that i think...me i dnt care ill tell ya wht you want to know...but i understand her position too

plastic castle32: well is it a situation with a butterfly (if you let it go and it comes back yadda yadda) or is it a knock her over the head and tell her whats up?

myfriendonIM: i dnt know about butterflies and stuff...
sometimes i feel like since i am not at school with her if i did that since there are so many other guys around there id be long forgotten...i dnt know what i am basing that on other than my frustration right now
advice? what do youtthink i should do?

plastic castle32: I have no good advice- what I've learned from this situation is that guys are dicks and never want to commit to anything, even the word "girlfriend" and that it's probably a cross between being young and personality that is causing the issue. this guy I know is a self-proclaimed free spirit; in other words, he wants to act like a dick and explain it by the fact that "that's just the way I am." meanwhile, I want something just a little bit more. I'm not trying to marry him, but I am at the point in my life where I want a partner who will at the very least, admit that they are in love with me, and want to tell their friends about my existence. It isn't fair to me to expect any less.

myfriendonIM: agreed

plastic castle32: and even though I love him more than anyone else in the world, and I think he loves me, maybe not more than anyone else, but in an important way, he just can't do it. this guy I know is not in a position to give himself to someone else... emotionally or practically. it's not his fault, he's just not there, even though there is not that far ahead of him. so for me, no more expectations. I will always love him, but I'm letting him go, and if in the future, he gets a visa, and he stops being a freak- I think I will be there. but in the meantime, to save my heart and my head, I have to drop it. if I look at it as not completely FINAL and forever, it's not as hard.
plastic castle32: I'm not saying that's what you should be doing
plastic castle32: but it's what I've learned

I'm Flipping You Off Inside My Mitten... As Hard As I Can

Here's to a week of terrible Metro riders and Metro-related experiences:

• Friday (sometime after work) lights in Metro Center completely out. Neat.
• Saturday (6:00pm) Dumb ass bitches get on escalator. Stand to left.
• Saturday (6:25pm) Lead dumb ass bitch, approximate age 15, snatches cell phone out of my hand. Doesn't run away.
• Saturday (6:33pm) Lead dumb ass bitch chucks cell phone onto Orange line tracks. Doesn't run away.
• Saturday (6:34pm) Lead dumb ass bitch resists arrest. 2 knives found on person. What a dumb ass bitch.
• Sunday (first thing in the morning) I am never riding that damn train again! ...until work.
• Monday (8:35am) Douchebags board escalator. Stand to left.
• Monday (9:01am) More douchebags crowd all exits to trains. Riders forced to push each other.
  
• Tuesday (8:20am) More douchebags board escalator. Stand to left.
• Tuesday (8:35am) Buttmunches proceed to load already sardined train car. Defy physics.
• Tuesday (8:41am) Red line train towards Shady Grove ends commute-long habit of lurching violently at each stop.
• Tuesday (8:41am) Dumb fucks completely block doors causing passengers exiting at Metro Center to take FOREVER to get off at the stop.
  
• Tuesday (8:41am) "Doors closing" prior to complete unload of red line train. Some forced to say "Are you kidding me?!?!" loudly to closing doors.

Cheers to you, Washington D.C. You have a lot to be proud of...

Not Writin' Purty No More

I don't have anything meaningful to say. I don't even feel like commenting on society. Forgive my lameness, I hope it goes away.
I had a good day today.

Viente-tres

The Gang's All Here

When my grandmother was about 7 years old, she played a piano recital. I imagine Nana made her take the lessons because she appreciated music. Years later, my grandma would tell people that she only remembers how to play "Isle of Capris," something I can only take her word for since I've neither heard that song before nor heard my grandmother play the piano. She took tap dance lessons too, and because she wanted to, not because Nana coerced her and Jack (my Great Uncle) to do something else. This little fun fact came out when I was in high school and dipping my toes into my own artistic forms of expression.

Needless to say, Grandma doesn't really remember this piano recital or having the picture taken. In fact, I'm not convinced she remembers who all these girls were. So it was 1931, and in case you don't remember, there were only 48 states, people were living in Hoovervilles because of the depression, there was no Social Security, and the Star Spangled Banner came to be what it is. Meanwhile, Ginger, Catherine, June, Pauley and Lenore were playing in a recital at their piano teacher's house. Someone's mom stopped them before they went in, dressed in their Sunday best, to pose (facing the sun apparently) for a picture to capture the day. More than likely the whole fiasco took about ten minutes getting the girls to stand still and then setting up the camera, and just as quickly as it was snapped it was remembered. No one would guess that 74 years later, Pauley would go to her home computer, filling up no less of her house than a small desktop, and electronically send it to Ginger, who would receive it at her own home computer less than a minute later. And so it was blogged.