These Words are My Own

You are Kip Dynamite and you love technology.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
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and, very importantly: (note the grammar)


u are a classic lookin person!very old fashion.you

are a the kind of girl who likes to were a

big puffy fun dress!


what will ur prom dress look like.
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The Kid, The Storm, and The Dark

So I emailed my Grandma some lame life update and she replied the other day, you know, jus to say hi and that Auntie was in Boston the same time I was in California and was pissed about my better fortune in business travel. She also dropped the bomb that this girl who I knew from high school but didn't like very much's youngest brother killed himself and Grandma served the meal after the funeral.

It's always a real pisser to hear that someone died, especially in such a way, but for some reason the thought of this really threw me off yesterday. Perhaps it was her vivd description of the details (he bought a shotgun and took it to the park behind the city pool, put it under his chin and shot himself). I can guess pretty much exactly where in the park that would have been, because there is a particular place at that park you can go to not be seen from the road or the houses near by. Kids used to (ok, I'm sure they still do, but whatever) go back there to have sex when I was in high school. I'm guessing the experience won't be as "magical" any more. She also told me that he had been on Zoloft (or Prozac, or whatever) for a couple of weeks and wondered if maybe that was why he did it. (Sidebar: To my knowledge, antidepressants can cause suicidal ideations in teenages, but as far as I have read, it hasn't been in anyone over 18. 19 is close enough though.)

Perhaps it is the fact that my memory of him is as a 10 year old little brother of one of my brother's good friends in middle school. My memory of him is as a Kid looking uncomfortable in a tie at church or playing little league for the city, or running in and out of the room to agitate my brother and his friend at church functions. I can't imagine that normal Kid doing something like buying and using a shotgun on himself.

I have been there. (Not quite in line at the sporting counter at Wal-Mart waiting for my weapon, but glancing over at the other peole in that line as I walk past towards feminine hygeine products.) My next thought for him was, who missed this? Who was it that wondered if this might happen? Who did he speak with last, and did they beg him to cheer up or come over just to hang out? What could they have done to change what is now history? Truly, there is no one that will know or understand besides the Kid, and there very well may have been no one that could change what happened, and while I never really knew him, I wish him a better future than the one he found on this earth.

Seat Bottom Cushion Can Be Used as a Floatation Device

I went to Cal-ee-for-nee-yuh for some sweet corporate orientation this week. It was a whirlwind, I tell you, but I took some pictures... check me out.

Not a lot to tell that isn't in the pictures (it was THAT exciting) except that I will never take another redeye flight.

"It Wasn't Very Civil of You To Sit Down Without Being Invited" said the March Hare.

OK, that last thing was uncalled for, I know, but I wanted to see if a movie would actually post on my 'blog. Dang.

I love technology, but not as much as you you see...

Ok, the real reason I'm here is to tell you about a cultural anomally I experienced this Saturday. I went to a tea party.I wasn't aware that people still had these things, but apparently they still exist. It's funny, I haven't been to a tea party since... I don't have teddy bears any more. My friend J's mother and sister are apparently really "in to" tea. Her sister got her mom one of those three tiered contraptions to hold your scones and crumpets for Christmas and J brought back some tea leaves (and a picture of Mr. Darcy) when she was in London. I guess you can be "in to" tea in ways other than Starbucks employees are "in to" tea, and it happened on Saturday.

OK, so it wasn't high tea, because we didn't eat a lot of food (high tea is apparently like having a meal with tea) and it was apparently too early for tea (that's supposed to be at around 4:00 and this was at 1) but everything else was completely accurate. Except for the digital cameras. Anyway, we wore skirts and some people had broaches (seriously) and there were tiny sandwiches and british cheese that went on bread that tasted like cardboard with soil on it. I drank about five cups of tea (because I do like tea, but not necessarily to the point that I'm "in to" it) since tea cups are significantly smaller than a tall chai tea latte at, you know, that shop.

So anyway, I was at a tea party.

Eh heh heh heh...

Jesus Often Kissed Her On The - -

Or so Philip would have you believe in his gospel.

There are, of course, lots of things in the world that aren't fair. The Church has characterized Mary Magdalene as a prostitute (when she was really a disciple) for so long, that no one will ever understand her truth- and all because of some sort of mysogynism. I have an incurable (and, at best, mildly treatable) chronic illness. My friend, born into poverty, fights to remain in a country that doesn't want him. My other friend, placed on this earth to love children, lost her baby today. None of these things can be compared to the other, but it is the times when life is so obviously unfair that make me question the purpose of a world and a life where the wrong things make too much of a name for themselves.

There is nothing I could say or feel that would begin to explain this, describe it, or rectify it. I have no words of wisdom, nor do I have any special insights. Sometimes I curse life. What is there to learn from this?

Apples and Oranges

He closes his eyes, arms flailing and head bobbing to the sound of the music and his fingers pose in the shape of the chords he believes the song follows. As the chorus swells, his feet tap more strongly and his motions become more animated. He is consumed. Nothing in the room exists, tunnel vision has focused on the magic that is the music and the sound of his heart is deafening.

One day, I will be that music to someone.

Is It Some Sort of Holiday Or Something?

...cause we don't have to go into work tomorrow.

So last night was interesting. Normally I don't do much for new years eve and for the past few years I have spent it with a bag of Doritos and a bottle of yellow tail merlot. Mmm mmm mmm! Fortunately, this year, I am visiting my friend A-Hizzle-Hizzle in Denver. Denver is a very awesome place and one day, when I feel like driving myself around, I will live there. That's a promise most likely. Anyway, I have gotten to meet all the interesting people she has always talked about in her family, and her best friend since high school and some other interesting characters.

Last night was one of those encounters you have with a friend of a friend and all of their other weird friends, in which you feel completely out of place and yet more like the normal one than anyone else in the room. Does that make any sense, coming from me? Anyway, it was very interesting- we went to a house party in some area of- maybe- Denver, you know, one of those neighborhoods I keep hearing about. We took a cab, which was expensive, but I'm currently rich, so it didn't matter, and when we arrived almost no one was there and we weren't drunk. We made some changes to that quickly, and after taking a tour of their very un-furnished home we began to climb around on furnture. I was introduced to some local beer which wasn't skunked, despite how it tasted, and for the rest of the night I stuck with Budweiser, you know, just to be safe. There was dancing, and I assume there were people (ok, it was me and Hizzle) dancing on coffee tables. The people there were very interesting, and the highlight of the night was definitely one weird poindexter of a dude who was wearing a 1980s era day glow one piece wind suit. Henceforth, he would be known as Onesy and I am sure I embarassed him and myself by continuing to use the terminology to an obnoxious end.

Despite Hizzle's weird orbit of friends, it was really fun, and today, I have never felt more tired and unable to fall back asleep. Her mom made us some breakfast and we have been fighting the need to puke/pass out/eat everything in sight by watching the second season of Alias on DVD. Most important lesson of the year: Altitude does affect your ability to consume alcohol as usual, despite protective onesies.


p.s. None of this really happened last night. Looking back, I noticed that I never wrote about this when it actually happened, which was in 2005. Next year, I will illustrate all the details of 2006, providing I can still remember them.